


Protostar

by Jasker



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Gemitals, Jasper Redemption (Steven Universe), Lesbian Sex, Porn With Plot, Tentacle Dick, jasper lives in the lighthouse with peridot, or would it be plot with porn? lol, pearl is a great climber, this is becoming more story than just porn so im updating the tags haha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-08-23 12:55:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16619387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jasker/pseuds/Jasker
Summary: Pearl has been sneaking off in the middle of the night to visit Jasper at the lighthouse for quite a while since she started living with the Crystal Gems. Their relationship is new and exciting, but also confusing and terrifying for Jasper, who is also trying to figure out her new life on Earth at the same time. Things are secret between them for now, but certain gems might be onto their midnight trysts.





	1. Chapter 1

10:32 PM. Pearl stared at the screen of her cell phone, the numbers dark over a picture of Amethyst making a silly face. She pressed the button at the top to turn the display off and paced around the fountain near the front of her room. 

Water rippled around her feet as she walked, overflowing past the basin’s edge into the currents below. She saw the shallow pool sparkle under her, but her mind was in a different place entirely, somewhere not so far away from here. 

Somewhere with dim fairy lights and a little radiator that made the cold of the world outside fade away. Somewhere with countless blankets and quilts arranged into an extravagant nest with rugs of all different colors and sizes layered over the cold wood floor to keep her feet warm. And something even more soft and warm than all of those things beckoning, inviting her in… 

She combed a hand through her hair and hopped down to the pathway circling her room. It was terribly hard to wait. This was something she’d been missing for so long, and now that she’d finally gotten a taste, she couldn’t help but want more. 

Pearl stopped and checked the display of her phone again. 10:37 PM. She sighed and returned the phone to her gem. That would have to do. Iridescent arcs of light burst from her gem and reflected off the walls as she willed the temple door to open in front of her. 

The house was dark and still. She crept past the threshold and the sound of rushing water cut off as the door sealed behind her. Steven was snoring in his loft, asleep. Amethyst was probably in her room and Garnet was off on an evening mission. As she passed the living room she took a moment to peek up at Steven and make sure he was comfortable. He rolled over and mumbled something incoherent about the helicopter dog character he loved so much. _Good._

She closed the door with both hands and made her way down the front steps, careful to avoid all the creaky spots. The moon was bright in the sky and lit her path, stretching across a darkened sea and sand that had been ruffled by thousands of footprints so many times. She found her way around the temple to the hill above, quickly padding through the grass on her toes. 

The wooden house in front was now covered in lush mosses and flora, and light filtered through the leaves that crawled up the windows. She heard a laugh and some indistinguishable music as she tiptoed past. Peridot was probably busy on the tablet Steven had given her. She continued towards the stone tower and lifted her head to look toward the lantern room at the top. Her heart leapt when she saw a glimmer of lights reflected within and a single window left open. An invitation. 

The bricks of the lighthouse were loose and worn from age and stormy weather. There were cracks and gaps in many places, which made for quite convenient footholds. She’d found her path up these bricks some time ago and had returned many times after. So she reached up and began to climb. 

Pearl couldn’t remember what exactly had possessed her to scale those bricks the first time she came to see Jasper in the lighthouse, but she would never forget the moment that sparked the flame within her at the end of that night. 

Jasper had been with them for several months, slowly adjusting to her new life on Earth. Her good mood after a sleepy, rainy day at the house had been cut short when she’d left by herself that afternoon. A corrupted gem monster had clawed its way up the beach from the depths of the ocean, caught her wrists and ankles with seaweed-like tendrils, and dragged her towards the dark churning sea. She had been just feet from the frigid waters before they heard the ruckus, freed her, and bubbled the corrupted gem. Jasper had sat unmoving on the sand, petrified until Amethyst eventually coaxed her into walking back to the lighthouse with her.

The sight of Jasper locked up in sheer terror when her feelings were always so well hidden beneath a proud bravado had left Pearl deeply distraught. She’d planned to just stop by and offer her support, but something nagged at her as she approached, something that said to be discreet, to not get caught. So in some odd stroke of inspiration, she’d scaled the stone wall of the lighthouse instead. At the top, her nerves frayed and freezing wind whipping through her hair, she had wanted to jump down and run away. But when saw Jasper’s form curled in on itself, hidden under heaps of bedding, she could not allow herself to leave. She’d swallowed her fear and tapped the window. 

A flinch under the blankets. A lengthy pause. Then a streak of fiery red and flashing yellow eyes peeking out from between layers of muted fabric. 

After another pause that had felt like forever, Jasper stood, heavy blankets tumbling around her, and Pearl’s pulse raced as she approached. They’d stared at each other, Jasper’s expression blank. She’d then pushed the window open, walked back to her fallen blankets, shuffled them around with her feet, and tucked herself against the wall facing away from Pearl. There was an empty space of blanket behind her. 

The first, unspoken welcome. Pearl hadn't been sure what to do or even what Jasper wanted her to do, so she’d slipped through the window and settled for sitting quietly next to her. When Jasper did not move or speak, she shuffled closer and rested the side of her leg against Jasper’s back. Jasper stayed. So Pearl did too. 

When the sun had begun to rise and Pearl got up to leave, Jasper finally turned to face her for the first time since she’d laid down. In that moment she did not hide. There was a beseeching look in her eyes, pained and lonely. That was when Pearl felt it. Her heart swelled and her throat grew tight. Her gem hummed with a warmth she hadn't felt for centuries. Jasper had ignited a spark, and Pearl wouldn't dare let it go out. 

Midnight rendezvous became a part of everyday life after that. Jasper would leave her window open and Pearl would come. Pearl reached out with gentle touches and soft words, and eventually Jasper reached back in return. 

Her whispers were rough and her hands nervous and shaky at first, but with time she became more confident. The more comfortable she got, the more she opened up. She talked in excited murmurs and made dramatic gestures for emphasis. She smiled wide and toothy and muffled rumbling laughs behind a hand when something was funny. She leaned an arm against Pearl when they sat side-by-side and always left plenty of blankets for Pearl next to her. 

Casual affection turned into something different, something that made electricity crackle where their skin met. They’d walked a fine line, tension thick between them, but neither having the courage to push past. After what felt like an eternity, Jasper finally broke the wall down. It had been just a peck on the cheek—warm, soft lips meeting Pearl’s face for the briefest moment before disappearing again. She’d turned to Jasper in shock, who was suddenly very interested in picking at her nails, face flushed up to the ears. 

Pearl’s excitement had gotten the better of her. She’d flung her arms around Jasper’s neck, kissed her hard, slid hands up her chest and tugged at her shoulder straps. When her lips met Jasper’s neck, she’d finally noticed the erratic heaving of her chest and the heartbeat pounding in her throat. She had been going too fast, much too fast. She eased up and pressed a chaste kiss to Jasper’s cheek.

Jasper had tried apologizing through heavy breaths, but Pearl hushed her and said, “You just tell me when. I’ll come back as long as you want me to, no matter what. Even if you don’t _ever_ want that.” 

Anticipation pushed aside Pearl’s reverie as she reached the top of the lighthouse. She swung herself over the gallery rail and peeked down into the room. There Jasper was, laying on her stomach and reading something she borrowed from Amethyst. A familiar giddiness bubbled up and Pearl pressed a hand to her chest. Stars, how she loved her. 

Jasper noticed as soon as Pearl hopped down onto the especially fluffy rug placed under the window for her. A crooked grin spread across her face when she saw Pearl beaming at her from across the room. She tossed her book aside and lifted the corner of the quilt to let Pearl into the space at her side.

Pearl giggled as she kicked her flats off next to Jasper’s abandoned boots and leapt over to where they spent so many nights together. She tucked herself under Jasper’s arm and shimmied as close as she could, an intense warmth waiting for her there. She was determined to behave herself since she’d only just arrived, so she folded her hands together to keep them from wandering. She wanted to make certain Jasper did not feel pressured into a difficult position. 

The vibrations of a quiet purr revved up against her side where she was pressed close to Jasper’s ribs. It was something Pearl suspected Jasper didn’t even realize she was doing (and of course would never admit to), so she felt very special to be able to earn such a relaxed, happy sound from her. She never heard her make any noise like it outside of when they were in their cozy den together. 

Jasper lowered her arm over Pearl and let a hand rest on her waist. She started to fiddle with the fabric of her sash, scrunching it, tugging it, picking at it between her claws. Her head rested on her other arm as she watched Pearl with a peculiar look. 

Heavy eyelids, slightly parted lips, cheeks flushed a tinge pink, dark pupils blown wide with just a wreath of golden sunlight left around them.

Oh, no. 

Wild, thick hair flowing every which way, low light catching the hard facets of her gem and contrasting soft skin colored like a sunset, the weight of a heavy hand and idle fingers pressing into her waist.

Oh, Jasper had no idea what she was doing to her, did she?

Pearl crossed her ankles together when she felt a twinge between her thighs. She took a deep breath and clasped her hands together tighter. 

_Behave_ , she reminded herself.

“So what have you been up to today? Reading something from Amethyst, I see,” she said, keeping her voice steady. Maybe if she got Jasper to talk she would stop giving her that look that made her feel all sorts of ways. 

Jasper made an affirmative grunt and tilted her head to glance at the book. 

“Slow day,” she grumbled. “Amethyst was gonna spar with me but she said she had to do something and told me to read that instead.” The cover had a stylized drawing of colorful human girls fighting in fancy dresses. Jasper grinned and shook her head, then shifted to look back at Pearl. 

Pearl’s breath caught when she felt the hand on her waist start moving with purpose, pulling at specific parts, finding the places that held the ribbon secure. 

“And you?” Jasper asked, her voice low and husky. She continued to work her fingers into the knot of Pearl’s sash while acting completely casual, as if she wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary.

Pearl thought she was going to crack. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t taken her sash off around Jasper for comfort’s sake before, but Jasper _never_ made a move to touch it on her own. Yet here she was, slowly loosening it bit by bit. Pearl could tell she was trying to be gentle, but even while holding back Jasper still managed to lift Pearl’s entire waist with each tug. 

Jasper was strong. Very, _very_ strong. Pearl started to imagine what kinds of things those strong hands could do and felt her face heat up. She’d have to act fast before she did something she’d feel very embarrassed about later. 

“O-oh! Well, you know Connie comes over when she can to practice her sword techniques and of course I’m always happy to help, so we-” She could hear herself babble out of nervousness and Jasper just kept giving her that look as she scissored her fingers between the fabric.

“-in particular the specific, ah, positioning of- _oh_ ,” she faltered when she felt her tunic fall loose around her sides, no longer hugged tight by its usual binding.

With one swift motion the sash was pulled out from under her, making a light _snap_ in the air. Pearl gasped and reached out to grab whatever part of Jasper she could reach.

She froze in horror when she realized what she had grabbed just so happened to be the part of Jasper’s uniform that sat right over the top of her breast. She stared wide-eyed at her own hand that held the entirety of the strap, tantalizing heat radiating from the soft skin squished against the back of her hand. 

Pearl squawked and jerked away to hide her burning face with both hands. She knew she should probably leave, should probably try to give Jasper space after all her awkwardness at such a simple friendly gesture, but she just couldn’t bring herself to move. 

There were a few moments of tense silence. Then, very softly, “No?”

Pearl lifted her head in confusion.

“What-?” she started, but then saw the disappointment in Jasper’s face, her deflated posture. The sash was still wrapped around her hand and she hadn’t bothered to fix her uniform, leaving that glorious extra inch of shoulder still uncovered. 

_Oh._

“Jas- oh, no I- that’s not-,” she stuttered, sitting up and flapping her hands about in panic. She stopped herself, closed her eyes, took a breath. When she opened them again, Jasper was leaned just a fraction closer, a fang worrying her bottom lip. 

Pearl swore this gem would be the death of her. She groaned and looked anywhere but Jasper, covering half her face with a hand. Her fingers were cool and helped a little with the awful heat in her cheeks and neck.

“Jasper,” she said, “don’t you know? I’ve wanted to be with you for _so long_ , but I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable or think I wouldn’t visit if you didn’t want to.” 

She paused to peek over at Jasper. She was completely still, paying rapt attention, her gaze intense and magnetic. Pearl’s stomach whorled with anxious butterflies.

“I was waiting for you to tell me when you wanted to...” she trailed off and Jasper looked away, brows furrowed in thought. 

Pearl fiddled with the hem of her shirt, willing herself to be patient and allow Jasper time to respond. She shifted her legs to one side and laughed nervously, hoping to break the tension. 

“You know, you’re very hard to resist! You just look at me a certain way and I- well if I had known different I wouldn’t have held back.”

Jasper raised an eyebrow and looked at Pearl, a little color rising to her cheeks. She glanced down, then back up again from under heavy lashes, the alluring expression from when Pearl first arrived returning to her face.

Everything happened faster than Pearl was able to think. A hand wrapped all the way around her thigh and pulled her forward, the force of it making her fall back onto the floor. The impact knocked the air out of her, and her limbs splayed awkwardly on either side of her. 

She was about to try and right herself but realized she was completely underneath Jasper, thick tresses of hair falling around them like a curtain. The hand that caught her thigh moved up to her hip and just under the edge of her shirt. 

Jasper leaned down and their faces were just inches apart. 

Pearl could see gold and amber flecks in her eyes, could feel the warmth of her body held just out of reach, could almost taste the intoxicating scent unique to Jasper, spiced and smoky. Voluptuous lips stretched wider into a sly grin, bearing a hint of the sharp fangs behind them. 

A little closer. Pearl’s breathing quickened, her hands grasped at the blankets under her, she couldn’t keep holding back like this, she couldn’t–

“Then don’t,” Jasper whispered, lips barely brushing against Pearl’s as they moved. 

Pearl crashed into Jasper with the tension she’d held in for months, closing the gap between them with every part of her body she could. She buried her hands into soft hair at the base of Jasper’s head and pulled her in, arched her chest up to press against Jasper’s, hooked her leg around a thigh. 

Their kiss was sloppy at first, Jasper’s gem poked into her cheek and Pearl’s nose wasn’t quite angled right, but it was everything she’d wanted and waited for. Pearl tilted her head and moved her mouth against Jasper’s, getting a better position.

Jasper moved with her, taking in a raspy breath when she opened her mouth for Pearl. She nudged a knee between Pearl’s legs and let her hand roam over her stomach, pushing the shirt up as she went. 

Pearl slid her tongue against Jasper’s and over sharp teeth she’d fantasized feeling for herself so many times. Everything was so much better than she imagined: Jasper’s full lips overwhelming hers, the humid breaths between them, tasting rousing pheromones she had only known through scent until then. When Jasper’s leg pressed between her thighs again, more insistent this time, her head fell back with a shaky groan. 

Jasper took her chance and moved to Pearl’s neck, kissing her jaw and nipping at her neck. She pushed Pearl’s shirt the rest of the way up and grazed her thumb over a pert blue nipple. 

“You want it off?” She gave the loose fabric a tug, her voice low in Pearl’s ear.

Pearl nodded, breathless, and lifted her arms above her head. Jasper leaned up to take the shirt in both hands and pull it over Pearl’s head. She heard Jasper chuckle overhead when the collar got stuck on her nose, but with a few extra tugs she was free, albeit a bit ruffled.

There was an instinctive urge to cross her arms over her bare chest, but before she could Jasper caught her wrists and pinned them above her head. A knot tightened in her stomach when she saw the coy quirk of Jasper’s lips and the dark smolder in her eyes. 

The tip of a sharp nail traced up the center of her stomach to her sternum, making Pearl tremble and jump when it passed somewhere particularly sensitive. All the little hairs on her body raised when Jasper spread her hand over the entirety of Pearl’s chest. The hand was heavy and warm and despite the dangerous claws at the end of each finger, it made her feel oddly safe. 

Jasper’s hand trailed back down, under her breasts, down her waist, over her hips. Her eyes drifted lower with her hand, admiring the open skin bared to her. She pushed at the edge of Pearl’s shorts, rolling them just under her hips. 

Pearl squeaked when Jasper ground her thigh upward between her legs and, almost as if she’d expected it, Jasper’s lips were on Pearl’s again, pressing down hard. 

Pearl closed her eyes as she squirmed and bucked against Jasper’s thigh to try and get some friction to little success. Her shorts were pushed down as far as they would go with her legs spread between Jasper’s and only proved to be in her way. 

She whined when the sweet pressure between her legs disappeared and a hand firmly held her hips in place. 

Jasper parted the kiss and let go of slender wrists to rest her hand on top of Pearl’s head, brushing light peach hair away from her forehead with a thumb.

“I wanna take these off, but you have to be quiet,” she said, tugging at Pearl’s waistband. “Can you?”

Pearl looped her arms around Jasper’s neck and tugged her close. She looked at Jasper with starry eyes and bit her lip, agreeing with a fervent nod.

Jasper smiled and ran her thumb over Pearl’s gem, then leaned up to kiss it. 

“Good.” 

Rapturous energy thrummed through Pearl’s body from her gem, filling her head and tingling down to the tips of her fingers and toes. She felt the vibrations of Jasper’s gravelly voice resonate through her and clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle the noises that so desperately wanted to escape. 

Pearl loosed her arm from Jasper’s neck and let her palm slide over the tight, thick fabric of the uniform crossing broad shoulders and soft chest as Jasper leaned back. She realized with mild annoyance Jasper was still fully dressed and really wished she would fix that. 

Her thoughts of Jasper’s current state of dress came to an abrupt halt when she felt her ankles gathered up and easily lifted into the air. 

Jasper rested long legs on her chest and brought her hands to the rolled waistband. She took her time as she pulled stretchy fabric from Pearl’s hips and thighs, over her knees, down her calves, and finally tossed them off from her feet, leaving pink knee-socks in place. 

A fresh wave of heat rose to Pearl’s face when Jasper laid between her legs and hitched her knees up over her shoulders. Jasper glanced down and hummed appreciatively, her breath a tease between Pearl’s legs. She used one hand to lift Pearl’s hips off the floor and the other to support her back, angling her up. Soft hair tickled Pearl’s thigh as Jasper rested her head there and admired her view. 

“Well look at you,” she said. “You’re kind of a messy one, aren’t you?”

Pearl removed the hand from her mouth and leaned up to give Jasper as pointed of a glare as she could while her face still burned with embarrassment. Given Jasper’s smirk, it was not very effective.

“Look, it’s been a very long time and I, _ohh_ –” her words cut short with a throaty moan as wet heat dragged up her labia. 

Realizing her mistake, she smacked both hands back over her mouth as fast as she could. She looked at Jasper with wide eyes, silently pleading her not to stop. 

Jasper licked her lips with a dangerous grin. 

“Better be careful.”

A whimper caught in Pearl’s throat and she nodded vigorously, crossing her ankles behind Jasper’s head to urge her forward. 

Jasper leaned back down, keeping Pearl’s hips in place. She started with a kiss to the top of her mound, then slid her tongue between the split of wet outer lips to tease her clit.

Pearl panted and huffed, digging her heels into Jasper’s back at the immense effort it took to keep quiet. She slid a hand up her face, palm pressed into her cheek, while the other still partially covered her mouth. A gasp shuddered through her when Jasper pressed down with the flat of her tongue and closed her mouth around what felt like her entire cunt.

Of course Jasper was big, but it was startlingly apparent when Pearl looked down to see her gazing back up, mouth easily covering all of what lay between her trembling thighs. Pearl whimpered and bit down on a finger, coiling heat building up inside her in a way it hadn’t for hundreds of years. 

Jasper hummed, sending deep vibrations into Pearl’s core. She adjusted her grip and moved a hand to hold Pearl open with two fingers. The firm rubs on Pearl’s clit became long, slow licks up the length of her cunt, saliva mixing with excessive slick from her arousal.

Pearl felt a nudge against her entrance and her hands flew to Jasper’s head, tangling into her hair. 

“Oh- yes, yes Jasper, _please_ ,” she begged, struggling to keep her voice low between heaving breaths.

Her hands trembled as she grabbed and pulled at Jasper’s hair, trying to bring her even closer than she already was. Pearl braced her feet against the strong planes of Jasper’s back and writhed against her face. 

In the back of her mind, Pearl felt a twinge of embarrassment for how shameless and desperate she was being. She wasn’t sure if she felt so unhinged because it really had been that long or if Jasper was just _that_ good. When she felt thick pressure slip inside and curl upward towards her stomach, she decided it was definitely the latter. 

Her mouth opened in a silent scream and she arched in Jasper’s grip, clutching the back of her head like a lifeline, wanting it all as fast as she could give. Involuntary shudders wracked her body when Jasper retreated and plunged back in, fiery heat building fast in her belly.

Jasper made a minute shift in her position, tilted Pearl’s hips, then thrust as far in as she could go. She nudged her gem against Pearl’s clit and rubbed a thumb over Pearl’s hip where it rested, trying to give her a hint. 

Pearl whimpered when she realized what she was supposed to do. She untangled her hands from the back of Jasper’s head and traced her thumbs over dark eyebrows, then affectionately pushed the hair away from her forehead. 

Jasper stared back with wide eyes, caught off guard, and her cheeks darkened a shade. It almost made Pearl giggle that Jasper was blushing from a few soft touches instead of because of where her mouth was.

She felt a huff of hot breath on her cunt before Jasper closed her eyes, furrowed her brow, and pressed in deep and up, redoubling her efforts. A tiny noise escaped when Jasper nudged her gem against Pearl’s clit again and hard facets glided over sensitive flesh. 

There was something about the fact that it was her gem, what made Jasper who she is, that made Pearl come undone. She had wanted this for so long, but not even in her wildest fantasies had she imagined that. 

Everything but Jasper faded from focus and her head spun. White-hot lust took hold and pushed her closer and closer to the edge with each rut of her hips. She tugged at Jasper’s hair and bucked her hips, finding the perfect angle against soft skin and smooth edges. 

With a few last stuttering jerks of her hips, Pearl gave in. Her back bent in a tight arch and her legs snapped around Jasper’s head, strained moans forcing their way out as she struggled to keep quiet. It rolled through her body in waves and made her fingers and toes curl. 

Just when Pearl felt like she was coming down, Jasper ran her tongue all the way up to her clitoris and wrapped her lips around it, sucking hard. A second orgasm crashed over her just as intense as the first and she fell apart in Jasper’s hands all over again, completely overcome. 

Then it was too much, too sensitive, almost painful. Pearl let her knees fall apart and gave Jasper’s head urgent pats to signal she was done. 

Jasper lifted her head with a satisfied smile and used the back of her hand to wipe her face. With all the gentleness in the world, she set Pearl down on the blankets and arranged her legs in a comfortable position. 

Pearl melted into the soft touch and lay relaxed, eyes closed, letting her breathing even out. She grumbled in protest when she felt her arms and legs being moved this way and that, then firmly tucked against her. 

She opened her eyes to see what the fuss was about and found that Jasper had wrapped her up in a blanket and was just starting to nestle into her side. 

“Jasper, what on Earth,” she squawked, flailing about in the cocoon of fabric. 

Confused, Jasper scooted back to let Pearl move freely. 

“What's wrong? We were laying together before so… I thought it was okay.” 

“Well of course laying together is okay,” Pearl huffed, still struggling with the impeccable tuck around her legs. A few more tugs and she was finally free from the tangle of blankets and sat up. “But you started cuddling up to me like we were done,” she finished with a little laugh. 

Jasper frowned, seeming lost. 

“You came, though. Was it not good? Do you need another?” 

Pearl stared in shock. Surely she had… no, it couldn't be. 

“Jasper, has no one ever returned the favor?”

Jasper froze, a ruddy pink flooding her cheeks. Her mouth opened and closed a couple times before she was able to speak again. 

“Wh-what? What do you- I don't need anything, I just-” She chuckled nervously and waved a hand in front of her face. “No, I'm good at _giving_ , you don't have to- hah, not to me. Here, we can- we can just lay down, it's nice,” she said giving the open space next to her a couple of pats. 

Pearl shook her head in disbelief. How many gems had Jasper been with that took from her and didn't give back? How many had used her to satisfy their own needs and never even offered to help with hers? How many selfish, greedy gems had Jasper been so generous to that she would think that was _normal_?

“Jasper, no,” Pearl said, taking Jasper’s hand in both of her own. “You do know that I _want_ to touch you, don't you?” 

Jasper let her hand rest in Pearl’s, but still gave her that funny look.

“I thought you knew that when you first kissed me and I, ah, got a bit too excited,” she said, still a bit sheepish about the incident. 

Jasper bit the inside of her cheek and looked away. She curled one of her fingers around Pearl’s hand. 

“I thought...” Jasper started slowly. 

She paused again and Pearl waited patiently, rubbing soothing circles into her palm.

“I thought maybe you just wanted me to get you off and then you wouldn't come back.” She fidgeted, still avoiding Pearl’s gaze. “I got scared because I thought it was gonna be over. But then you said you would come back even if I didn't want to, but I _did_ want to, and- I don’t know, that’s just always how it’s been for me with other gems.” 

She glanced up at Pearl with a casual shrug. 

“Besides, it’s not like they’d wanna touch a beta quartz from Earth. It makes sense.” 

Pearl suddenly felt like screaming and sobbing at the same time. She gritted her teeth and squeezed Jasper’s hand tight in her own. 

“No, it does _not_.” Her voice shook with anger at how unfair it was, at how much Jasper had put up with to think she didn’t even deserve it. 

She thought about how she must have been treated on Homeworld. A lone quartz transplanted from the Diamond Authority’s biggest failure, Earth. No matter how hard she worked or how much she accomplished, she would never even be considered as good as lower-rank gems from superior kindergartens. Never fitting in, never enough. 

She thought about Jasper’s comparatively short time on Earth and all the times she was isolated and abandoned here. Trapped in a watery grave so long she forgot how to breathe without water in her lungs, throwing herself towards suffering in search of worth and purpose, succumbing to centuries of grief in sun-streaked canyons she once called home, infected with corruption. And the most difficult of all, the loss and betrayal of her Diamond. 

Oh, Pearl knew that well: loyalty, love, and self-sacrifice ardently given, only to be met with the empty space where a gem once was. Pink of course had loved her too, but there was always something missing, something that didn’t fit between them. They never saw the same stars, never swam the same current, never heard the same whisper in the breeze. 

Pearl looked at the warm hand held between her own. It was enormous compared to hers, harsh claws made to shred contrasting placid fingers made to be folded in a lap. They were supposed to be intimidating and dangerous, but all Pearl could think of was how careful and kind they were to her. 

Jasper was different. She could see it, could feel it, the fire she had wanted so much from Rose burned hot in Jasper. When Pearl felt a spark, she saw one in fierce scarlet and orange rivaling her own. When they were together she felt a resonance between them, an intimate wordless understanding she’d never known before. Their energy worked in tandem, giving and taking, waxing and waning, twisting up and weaving into something indescribable between them. 

Yes, Pearl was angry that the gems before her had hurt Jasper so much, but it only served to fuel the vehement passion boiling inside her. 

She would never leave her, never take advantage of her, never selfishly use her. She was breaking the cycle right here, right now. 

Pearl realized she had been gripping Jasper’s hand much too tight when Jasper sat up, worry lacing her features. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I know you’re not gonna leave or anything,” she said. “We can just lay down like we always do and you can tell me about Connie’s practice or do that thing you like with my hair.”

Pearl shook her head again and dropped Jasper’s hand to cup her face instead. She rose onto her knees and pressed a kiss to the stripe on her cheek.

“Oh, Jasper…” she whispered. “You deserved so much better.” 

Jasper said nothing, the dim string lights catching luminescent specks in her eyes like burning stardust shooting across an amber sky.

“Will you let me take care of you?”

Pearl kept still, giving Jasper time to process. 

It was probably very overwhelming being offered something she’d always given but never thought to have for herself. And of course it would be frightening to trust someone to treat her body kindly when no one else ever had. Pearl was completely prepared to accept if Jasper was not ready, and would be happy to lavish her in affection in other ways.

Jasper’s face was flushed under her fingers and Pearl gave her an encouraging squeeze. Her eyes flicked down, then to the side, then back to Pearl. 

“... Okay,” she rasped. 

Pearl beamed and squished Jasper’s cheeks, making her lips pout a bit, and kissed her. 

“You have so much courage, do you know that?” she said, tracing the strong jaw under her fingertips. 

Jasper grimaced, the skin around her gem wrinkling a little as she shifted. 

“So what am I supposed to do anyway? I’ve only ever done quick stuff for teammates.” 

She anxiously picked at the leg of her uniform between her nails and kept her gaze averted. Despite her even tone, it was clear she was very apprehensive about the whole thing. 

Pearl stood up and circled around to Jasper’s back. She could see her muscles tense, but she did not turn around. 

“All you have to do is relax,” she said, soothing and low. She worked her fingers into thick hair at the crown of Jasper’s head and lightly scratched down. 

Most quartzes had tough scalps to accommodate the special hair they used in combat, but in Pearl’s experience playing with their hair still never failed to be comforting. She knew many teams of quartzes instinctually bonded through hair grooming and maintenance, so it was only natural. 

She also knew Jasper had not been welcome to these bonding sessions as an outsider to the already tight-knit teams she was assigned. When Pearl eventually learned this, she made a habit of fussing with Jasper’s hair much more often. She could tell it made her happy, even if she didn't say so. 

Her fingers wove through fluffy locks that stuck up every which way and began sectioning small parts off. Pearl could see Jasper’s posture start to relax as she worked. 

“We’ll go nice and easy.” She finished off her first braid and set it over Jasper’s shoulder before reaching to do the same on the opposite side. 

Pearl managed to finish a fourth narrow braid before Jasper’s shoulders slumped forward and a quiet purr rumbled in her chest again. Pearl smiled. _Good._ It wouldn’t help anything if Jasper was a nervous wreck. 

She let her knuckles gently brush across Jasper’s jaw, then down her neck as she swept all of the loose hair up along with the smaller braids and pulled it behind her shoulders. 

“And you can always tell me to slow down or stop if you don’t feel good or get nervous, okay?” 

Jasper hummed and gave a little nod. 

Pearl gathered all of the hair up in both hands and tied it together into one big, loose ponytail with the finished braids. She set the bulk of it over Jasper’s shoulder and smoothed her hands over the sides of Jasper’s neck, pressing thumbs into the pressure points on either side of her vertebrae. 

Her hands were firm and steady as she kneaded up to the base of her skull, then over bands of muscle stretching down her neck. Clever fingers found their way between thick uniform straps and warm skin and pushed them down over broad shoulders.

The subtle purr that rolled through Jasper turned into something new, a noise Pearl had never heard before. It was like a deep shivering sigh, little involuntary huffs in quick succession, her chest shuddering along with it. Pearl decided she very much liked that noise. 

She knelt down behind Jasper and slid her hands over the slack muscles in her arms. Pearl admired them often from afar, straining and glistening with sweat in the midst of a sparring match or a fierce battle on a mission, but being up close and actually _feeling_ the strength that lay in their defined contours never failed to leave her awestruck. 

Her fingers ventured down to sturdy ribs, then further yet to a soft, pliant waist and she pressed her bare chest against the exposed skin of Jasper’s back. Pearl wrapped her arms around the smallest part of Jasper’s waist and spread her hands over her stomach, earning an involuntary twitch and a sharp breath in response. 

Pearl kissed her spine and slowly slid upward over soft padding covering the strong abdominals of her core. When she found the seam supporting full, heavy breasts, she cupped her hands under them and followed their natural curve upward. She squeezed them flush to Jasper’s chest and pulled her close, then rubbed outward to sensitive nipples that stiffened after a few circles of her fingers. 

Jasper let out another quaking sigh and goosebumps rose on her skin. She shifted her legs and hips, fidgeting again.

Pearl tried to lean up and peek at Jasper’s face without removing her hands, but found she was too small to see her from behind that way. She peppered a few more kisses down Jasper’s back as she continued to massage over her breasts, well aware that she was pushing and pulling the uniform down further as she went. While Pearl would be quite happy to sit there all night and savor the faltering breaths and quiet, trembling noises she plucked from her, she knew it wasn’t fair to keep her waiting. 

She withdrew her hands from under Jasper’s arms and stood to circle back around her. With a foot planted on either side of Jasper’s hips, Pearl brushed the ponytail back and rested her hands on open shoulders, gently pushing back. 

Pearl could not have moved Jasper on her own even if she wanted to, so it was always Jasper’s choice to move and bend where she was guided, or to stay put. When she let herself be laid down, arms open and surrendering at her sides, Pearl’s heart fluttered. 

Trust. Jasper trusted Pearl with everything she had, everything she was. Her face blushed deep, chest rising and falling in a light pant, lips parted just enough to show the points of her frontmost fangs. 

Blooming affection mixed into a familiar cloying feeling that pooled between Pearl’s thighs, urging her on. She trailed her hands over straps that were already more than halfway down Jasper’s chest, took two handfuls of fabric, and looked at her in question. 

Jasper nodded and wriggled her arms free, helping Pearl pull it down to her ribcage.

Pearl had to pause a moment once Jasper was free. “Stars, you are incredible,” she whispered as she ran her fingers along the stripe that hugged the underside of her right breast. 

Jasper sucked air in between her teeth and grabbed at the blanket from the sudden cool touch. 

No one had ever touched her under her uniform before. In fact, Pearl wondered when the last time was Jasper even touched _herself_ under her uniform. 

Loosened fabric slid easily over a pinched waist, revealing another stunning red stripe sweeping across soft, vulnerable stomach. The material stretched tight again when Pearl started working it down hips twice as wide as her whole body. She knelt between Jasper’s legs to get better leverage to pull it the rest of the way down. 

A few more firm but useless tugs proved her efforts were in vain. Pearl rested her head on Jasper’s hip and muffled a laugh with the back of her hand. 

Jasper leaned up with a huff and frowned.

“What's so funny?” she grumbled. 

Pearl pulled at the bunched uniform as hard as she could, gesturing at Jasper’s hips when it still didn't budge. 

“Well you’re just, you're very well endowed,” she said. “I need your help.”

Jasper flopped back down with a groan and rubbed her hands over her face. She laid still for a while, a growl in the back of her throat. Pearl noticed her ponytail had started to come apart as she raked at her hair in frustration.

Perhaps she needed a little extra encouragement. 

Keeping her eyes trained on Jasper’s face to watch for any signs of discomfort, Pearl abandoned the stubborn uniform and slid her hands over Jasper’s hips instead, following their curve to the crease of her legs. She caught an almost inaudible gasp and a slight bend in Jasper’s back as she fanned her fingers out over the insides of her thighs. Powerful legs trembled on either side of her head when Pearl dipped down and kissed Jasper’s mound and lightly ran her thumbs over plump outer lips. 

She lingered there, breathing the enticing scent so specific to Jasper, and used her thumbs to spread her open as much as sturdy fabric would allow. The small but distinct noise that followed sent a jolt of heat through Pearl. 

Jasper was wet. _Very_ wet. 

A choked noise made its way out of Jasper through gritted teeth and she tugged at her own hair, palms still pressed against her forehead. She dug her heels into the floor when Pearl moved her thumbs in languid circles, pushing slippery folds together then pulling them back apart.

Pearl steadied a hand on the crook of hip and thigh to pet Jasper through her uniform, gentle and smooth. She traced her middle finger along the split of her sex while the others rested on either side, coaxing out quiet noises and sharp breaths. 

Sappy wetness started to soak through thick fabric as Pearl teased her fingers along the line of Jasper’s cunt, swollen with arousal. A hunger that had been lurking deep down took hold of her, wild and untamed. She was quite done with all this material being in her way. 

Pearl shoved Jasper’s thighs open as far as she could with both hands and ground her own slight hips against the damp, scorching heat between unsteady legs. 

Jasper squirmed against Pearl and bit down on her fist to muffle a groan. She looked down with imploring eyes, wordlessly begging with a desperation that poured into Pearl and filled her with urgency. 

“I want these _off_ ,” she growled, wrenching at the bunched fabric still confining Jasper’s hips.

Oh, but she wanted so much more than that. She wanted to bend Jasper until she broke, to make her come apart at the seams, to open her up and lave into the soft places she so carefully hid from everyone else. She wanted to pull ragged breaths and needy moans from lungs that gasped for air, see the stripes on her skin shift over her body, writhing with molten pleasure that destroyed coherent thought. She wanted to split her open with gliding fingers, to bury herself into tight heat dripping with need, to devour feverish skin glistening with sweat. To see her claws dig into the floor, hear her shout Pearl’s name, and whimper and plead and scream–

“Hey, Jasper!”

They both froze at the nasally voice shouting from the floor below and stared at each other, stunned. 

Jasper snapped out of the initial shock first and instinctively grabbed armfuls of blanket from around her to hold to her chest. 

“Y-yeah?” She winced at the sound of her own unusually high voice and quietly cleared her throat. 

“Me and Amethyst are going to a human performance with loud rhythmic noises and synchronized body thrashing, do you want to come?”

Jasper let her head fall backward towards the doorway to respond and Pearl bit her lip. Despite the situation, she couldn’t help but admire the lines from bared throat to open collarbone, to sternum and the soft curve of breasts swathed in blankets. 

“No, I’m fine, but wow thanks,” Jasper answered, keeping her head tilted to wait for a reply. 

There was a small pause, then concerned, “Are you sure? Do you want me to come up there?”

Jasper clutched the blankets closer and tried to fold in on herself, self-consciousness and doubt starting to seep in through vulnerable cracks. 

“No! I- no, don't come up, I just want to, uh,” she said, frantically scrambling for an excuse. 

Pearl patted her stomach to get her attention, and Jasper jumped as if she’d forgotten Pearl was even there. 

“ _Read your book_ ,” Pearl mouthed, pointing toward the discarded book for emphasis.

Jasper realized what she meant and nodded, then tilted her head back to yell back at Peridot again. 

“I'm in the middle of that book Amethyst gave me with the pink girl, you know the one. I wanna see what happens.”

Peridot make an excited noise before shouting back, “Oh, I _completely_ understand. See you later then!” 

Jasper made a vague grunt and they both waited, listening to the soft patter of Peridot’s socked feet as she left. 

As soon as they heard the door shut downstairs, Jasper dragged the blankets up around her and stuffed her face into them. She rolled onto her side and drew her knees together in front of Pearl, a muffled groan coming from behind bunched up fabric. 

Pearl knew how hard it was the first time, being so vulnerable and open to someone else. Adding that Jasper had little confidence in her attractiveness outside of battle, it made sense for her to feel nervous when the heat of a passionate moment cooled down. Pearl would simply have to build her confidence back up. 

She crawled up from below Jasper’s knees, sat next to her head, and began combing through her hair again. 

“Are you feeling alright?” she asked softly.

“I was weird,” Jasper said, sounding more confused than upset.

“What do you mean?”

Jasper sighed in exasperation and propped her chin up on the bundle of blankets. 

“I felt like I wanted you to… hold me down, I think. Or just be close? I don’t know.”

Pearl felt a little leap in her stomach at the suggestion, but stayed quiet and kept petting her hair. 

“The other gems were rough and fast and didn't make much noise. I thought maybe you were different because you’re not a quartz, but then I was… I wasn’t anything like them.”

“Is that a bad thing, though?” Pearl asked, plucking hairs away from Jasper’s furrowed brow. “I’m sure those other gems weren’t there to be _with_ you considering they all just left once they were done.” She spat the last part and hoped her word’s venom would somehow reach them galaxies away. “They just wanted a quick way to relieve pent up feelings and aggression. That's not what we’re interested in though, right?”

Jasper grumbled. 

Still not convinced. Pearl hummed in thought, then tried again. 

“Things will sound and feel different when you spar with Garnet versus when you spar with me. You and Garnet are more serious and competitive with each other, but you and I can't help but tease and flirt. When we feel differently about our partner in sparring or in sex, we react differently to them, which is a good thing.” 

Pearl craned her neck to try to see Jasper’s face better, but the blush creeping up the back of her neck and ears made it obvious she was just more embarrassed than ever. 

“You know, it’s completely okay if this is still a little fast for you, we don’t have to-”

“No!” Jasper shouted, twisting around to face Pearl. Realizing she’d given herself away, a new wave of heat rose to her cheeks. “I mean- no, it's not too fast. I don’t wanna stop, I _want_ to feel like that again. I liked it. I just…”

Another pause. 

“What if you don’t like it, after I’ve always been so… y’know. Tough,” she finished awkwardly. 

Pearl spluttered, taken aback. 

“Don’t like it? Stars, Jasper, I like _everything_ about you. Seeing you let go of your worries and feel good it- it’s-” she gestured vaguely to try and convey feelings she didn't have words for. 

“From the first time you let me through your window you’ve trusted me with so much and, oh-” Pearl reached down to cup ruddy cheeks in her hands. She knew each moment of weakness was a risk for Jasper, a terrifying leap into the unknown, but still she trusted Pearl. She let her in and trusted her with the secrets she’d kept inside for millennia. It was only fair that Pearl had the courage to do the same. 

“The more I learn about you the more I _love_ you. I'm always going to like when you show me something new and different about yourself, because it's more of _you_ , and that's what I love.” 

Jasper stared, mouth open in shock. 

“You lo–” she started, but was cut off by Pearl pulling her into a kiss. 

Winding fingers found their way back into fluffy white hair and Pearl held her close, almost afraid to let go. Jasper relaxed against her, pushing forward into the kiss. It was like honey dripping into tea, warm and slow. 

When Pearl pulled back, Jasper’s eyes were still closed, her lips parted as she breathed deeply, her head slightly tilted back. Pearl knew that was how Jasper detected scent, though for whatever reason, perhaps embarrassment or simply inconvenience, she often did not. She felt warmth in her chest seeing such a natural, open reaction from her. 

She decided to have courage once more and found the cool facets of Jasper’s gem in a tender kiss.

The response was immediate. Jasper’s body trembled with a deep wavering breath, dark lashes fluttered against her cheeks, thick brows knitted together. Pearl felt an effervescent hum of energy at her lips, an immense life force drawing in her own. A bright glow sparked in Jasper’s gem and cast across her face, warm oranges and yellows playing against her skin like sunlight.

Time slowed. Energy zipped across Jasper’s skin to her own, and from her own to Jasper’s where they touched. It would be so easy, so natural. She could reach out with her light and hold her, could swirl and melt into her and feel Jasper course through her in return. She could protect her and be a part of her at the same time.

They could be something new, something beautiful and exciting, unlike anything either of them had been before. 

But Pearl knew, no matter how wonderful it may be, it was not the right time. She didn’t know how Jasper felt about trying to fuse again, even with someone she trusted. She had only just started opening up about the pain of her first fusions. Perhaps someday though, maybe even sooner than Pearl had ever dreamed, they could come together as a new experience. One of love and happiness, one where she could share how fusion is _supposed_ to feel. 

For now, Pearl retreated. Jasper opened her eyes, her expression dreamy. A smile tugged at Pearl’s mouth. Stars, she really did love her. 

“Do you want to try again?” she asked, brushing a thumb across Jasper’s cheek. 

Jasper nodded, a dazed grin spreading across her face. Pearl laughed and touched a hand to a hip still covered in bunched fabric. 

“Alright, well we still need to take care of this. Do you want to help me pull it off or do you want to shift it off?” 

Jasper glanced down thoughtfully before she closed her eyes and the rest of her uniform disappeared in a flash of light. 

Pearl swallowed. That was not the response she had expected, but she couldn’t say she wasn’t pleased by it. 

She tried to be inconspicuous, but failed miserably as her eyes roamed across tempting expanses of open skin. The blankets Jasper had gathered up in her arms hardly covered her, instead draping over the curves and dips of her body like an alluring gift to unwrap. She glanced back up at Jasper’s face and thought she might faint. 

Jasper gazed down at her, arms resting comfortably above her head. Sandy white hair flowed around her like rolling clouds in a pink sunrise. Her chest rose and fell lightly with each breath, waiting. 

A stripe curving under her breast, one hugging the dramatic bend of her waist, one painted over her upper thigh, one covering her shin all the way down to her toes. 

Pearl made her way to each of them, sweeping her hands over tapering lines and circling bands, moving blanket aside as she went. She eventually tucked herself into the crook of Jasper’s waist and kissed the tender spot just under her breast. 

Jasper’s breathing came quicker now, and she rested her arm around Pearl, holding her tight.

“I’m nervous,” she whispered. 

Pearl kissed Jasper’s ribs a few more times and laid her head there. 

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked, gently rubbing her stomach. 

“No, don’t stop.”

Pearl’s hand trailed lower and she pressed her palm to the plush of Jasper’s mons and buried her fingers into the soft give of outer lips. Jasper made a little surprised noise and Pearl hesitated. 

“Ye-yeah, it’s good,” she rasped.

Pearl hummed and continued on. She took her time exploring the wet heat that lie waiting for her. A single finger slid between Jasper’s labia, testing, smearing generous slick that dripped from her core up the length of her cunt. 

Two more fingers joined the first, spreading velvety petals apart and tracing their edges, finding the ways they opened and gave in to her. Pearl used four fingers now and dragged them up with purpose, finally giving much needed attention to Jasper’s clit. 

The little noises that slipped from Jasper’s throat turned into a shuddering moan as Pearl rubbed practiced circles to the sensitive nub that stiffened beneath her touch. Jasper’s back arched and she moved the hand she had been holding Pearl with to brace herself against the floor behind them. 

Pearl grinned against Jasper’s side when she noticed her toes curl and calves strain as Jasper pressed her feet into the floor, tangling blankets when they slipped under her. She eased up and switched to a light pressure, tracing idle patterns with just a fingertip. 

A high, thin whine Pearl almost wouldn’t have believed came from Jasper broke into whimpering, shallow panting. Pearl ventured further, past sopping folds to nudge against her entrance. 

“Please, please–!” 

Jasper had been so quiet Pearl almost hadn’t heard her, but as soon as she did she waited no more. She slid all four fingers inside, steady and persistent, making it up to the knuckle with ease. 

Jasper tossed her head back with a guttural moan and tilted her hips into Pearl’s hand, still seeking more. 

Pearl panted with her, feeling a knot tightening in her stomach again. She scrambled up to straddle Jasper’s leg for better leverage and pulled her hand out slowly, feeling inner walls clench around her to try and pull her back in. 

The next thrust was merciless. She plunged in as far as she could reach and rubbed hard against the rough patch inside. A howl tore from deep in Jasper’s chest and she kicked her legs, clawing at anything she could reach, almost throwing Pearl off balance. 

As Pearl crooked her fingers inside she felt distinct contractions, wave-like squeezes pushing down against her hand from Jasper’s innermost depths towards the outside. She slowed her movements and Jasper writhed her hips, her chest heaving in a desperate sob. 

“Are you okay with coming out for me?” Pearl asked, voice low. 

She moved her fingers in long strokes, dragging against where she knew the rest of Jasper’s clit was hidden, tucked inside her body. 

Pearl knew she was asking a lot of Jasper to trust her in such a vulnerable state, for access to something always kept safe and protected. It was another intimate level of trust, both promising to take care of Jasper when she everts, and trusting Jasper with her body in return.

“You- want-?” Jasper managed between ragged breaths, lifting her head to look at Pearl with glassy eyes.

“Yes, yes, I want it, let me see you,” Pearl said, picking up her pace again. 

It didn't take long once Pearl found the right spot. She flattened her fingers and reached deep, coaxing her out with persuasive rubs and curling fingers. 

Jasper’s head fell back and she took sharp gasping breaths as if she couldn't get enough air. Her thighs shook and her hips jerked back and all at once her muscles tensed in powerful waves, pushing her forward inch by glorious inch. 

Pearl watched in awe as a small bud bloomed into the beginnings of a thick shaft. One soft ridge, then two, then another and Pearl could almost feel them from the inside as they pushed their way out. A single red stripe swiped in a short spiral near the base, slick coating the length in lazy viscous drips. 

Finally, the rhythmic contractions eased and she was everted. Pearl gave Jasper a few more upward strokes deep in her cunt, unwilling to leave the tight heat hugging her hand just yet. 

Jasper looked down at herself and made a funny noise, then another shaky breath. Her hips bucked weakly when Pearl eased her hand out and traced up her labia. 

“Goodness,” Pearl breathed. “You’re big.” 

She wrapped her fingers around the base of Jasper’s fully emerged clit and realized with a pang between her legs that she could only manage to reach part way around. She stroked upwards from the firm shaft up thick length, to the tip that was normally just a small flushed nub peeking between pretty apricot lips. 

The ridges around each side almost looked sharp like barbs, but when Pearl felt them pass over her palm they were soft and malleable, dragging against her skin in a pleasant way. Pearl couldn't help but smile as it naturally curled against her hand and tried to wrap around her fingers. 

Jasper was _very_ big, there was no doubt about that. But she still had an exceptional mix of impressive strength and soft, squishy padding there, just like the rest of her body. 

“Stars, and so pretty, too,” Pearl murmured. 

She looked up at Jasper who had her eyes squeezed shut and was biting down hard on her fist, trying to stay still. She took advantage of the moment and quietly got up onto her feet and positioned herself just above Jasper’s hips. 

“Jasper,” she cooed, bracing a hand on Jasper’s stomach and gently tugging at the arm she was using to muffle herself. 

Jasper let her arm be pulled away and cracked her eyes open. Her breath quickened when she saw Pearl hovering just above her. 

“It's okay, no one else is here.”

Pearl smiled and looked up at Jasper from under her lashes. She placed her other hand on Jasper’s stomach to join the first, and as soon as she began to lower her hips, she felt the substantial press against her cunt. She took a steadying breath and pushed down, feeling a delicious stretch the further she went. 

Jasper panted and grunted, claws digging into the floor as she struggled not to move. 

Lowering herself onto Jasper felt like freedom, like fiery rebellion boiling in her stomach, each flare squeezing inside her and dragging along slippery folds.

Pearl's patience wore thin, each little noise Jasper made, each extra inch inside spurred her on. Suddenly it was too slow, agonizing, she knew there was more waiting and she wanted it, all of it _right now_. 

She let gravity pull her the rest of the down way with a huff, finally feeling Jasper’s hips against her. Jasper gasped and Pearl doubled over with a moan. Stuffed completely, stretched to her limits, finally, finally satisfying. Everything was wet and messy between them. She felt the twisting and pressing of Jasper’s dick moving of its own accord deep inside and threw her head back, another groan pulled from her lips. 

“Pearl- Pearl, I gotta-” Jasper choked out, her hands hovering over Pearl’s hips, waiting for permission. 

Pearl looked back at Jasper, took both large hands in hers, and guided them down. Jasper’s fingers easily wrapped all the way around Pearl’s waist, thumbs resting on her stomach.

“Shh, you're doing so good, but I just want you to see,” Pearl said, moving Jasper’s thumbs down the subtle bulge at her lower stomach. 

She arched her back to try and make it more obvious, a whimper escaping as Jasper’s length pressed against where the rest of her own clit lay, still resting inside. 

“Look at you, that's you inside me,” she said, touching it with her own hands as well. “Look how big you are, the perfect size for me. I’ve got you.” 

Jasper was chuffing and whining, squirming underneath Pearl, gripping her waist hard. Each place she pressed, the pads of her fingers almost bruised the skin underneath, yet she was still cautious to never let sharp claws pierce skin. She was so, so good. 

Planting her hands on the floor on either side of Jasper’s waist, Pearl beared down and let out a growl of her own. 

“Now do it,” she said, lifting up just an inch just to slam her hips back down with a wet smack. 

A ferocious snarl tore through the air and the world tilted. Her vision filled with cascades of white, save the fiery orange shoulder she found herself instinctively grip. There were teeth at her throat that rested there, not pressing down, almost as if a warning. Her legs split to accommodate the width of massive hips and thighs, her own narrow hips tilted for a thick press deeper than she ever thought possible. 

Low, sultry groans rumbled from Jasper’s chest, hot breath puffing against Pearl’s neck. She held Pearl fixed against her, putting immense effort into being slow and careful, still unable to stop herself from rolling into Pearl with wavering hips.

No, no more hesitations. Pearl was done waiting and Jasper needed to be, too. 

“Give it to me,” she demanded, gathering up a fistful of hair and yanking it back. 

In less than a second, fangs sank into her neck and Jasper pulled out almost completely before ramming back in with the tremendous strength she’d held back. 

All the air was forced from Pearl’s lungs and she gasped to try and get it back, only to have it tumble out again in broken moans, faltering with each snap of Jasper’s hips. Excessive slick dripped between them, making obscene wet noises at their joining. 

The angled flares of Jasper’s cock tugged Pearl’s folds on its way out and sent sparks through her when they nudged her clit sinking back in. At some point the sharp teeth at her neck were replaced with soft lips and tongue. The heat of rasping, needy moans against her throat drove Pearl further into her frenzy, and she dug her heels into the dip of Jasper’s back, trying to force her further in. She clawed at sinewy shoulders, leaving reddened welts where blunt nails dragged. 

“ _Yes- good g- ah, Jas-per!_ ” Pearl cried, her voice wavering in time with the rhythmic slap of skin against skin. 

Jasper plunged deep, deep inside, squeezing herself in all the way to the thick base of her cock, the supple give of her outer lips squishing against Pearl’s at the end of each thrust. 

Pearl could feel herself getting close again. Her legs strained open, eyes fluttered closed, liquid fire building and threatening to spill over any moment. 

She wrapped her arms around Jasper’s head to keep her close and tried to hold out, but once she started tipping over the edge it was all over. She heard herself shout Jasper’s name and a flurry of incoherent noises poured out of her mouth as everything crashed down around her.

Stars burst in front of her eyes and she felt herself contract and spasm around Jasper, as if to hold her in place. She tugged soft, thick hair, clawed frantically at anything she could reach, hooked her ankles around Jasper to keep her there, writhed in bliss against the heavy body leaning into her. 

Through the haze of her own release, she heard breathy, stuttering moans at the crook of her neck and felt a rush of burning heat gush inside her. Jasper arched over her and held her waist tight as she filled Pearl and continued on well after. Hot, viscous liquid dripped between them once Pearl could take no more, mixing with the thinner fluid of Pearl’s release. 

One final involuntary squeeze inside, one last rush of liquid, and her body finally began coming down. 

Everything was quiet for a moment. Just panting breaths and their chests pressed close. 

Then Jasper whimpered and arched again, the length that was buried in Pearl retreating back to its resting state in her body. She let go of Pearl’s waist and braced herself against the ground with a few heavy breaths.

Pearl almost wished she could have kept her there longer, held her close just like that. 

Instead she sighed as it slid out of her, gently tugging and pulling one last time before it’s warm pressure was gone completely. 

Jasper groaned and rolled onto her back next to Pearl. 

Pearl was very grateful Jasper had enough coherence left not to simply flop down and trap her, even in her exhaustion. 

She lifted herself up on wobbly arms and took a deep breath to gain her bearings. Still dazed, she noticed a spot between Jasper’s outstretched arm and her breast, just Pearl’s size. Without another thought, she tucked herself there and closed her eyes, nuzzling her face into Jasper’s neck. 

Just as she started drifting off, something wet hit her face. She opened her eyes and blinked in confusion. More wet, on her hair this time. She leaned back up to see what it was. 

“Oh…” 

Jasper looked at her, seeming content, if not mildly inconvenienced that Pearl had moved. Yet heavy tears rolled freely down her cheeks. She blinked a few times and frowned, bringing a hand to her face. More fat drops welled up and fell. 

“Uh?” She touched her fingers to her cheek and looked at the wetness she found. 

“I don’t-” she said suddenly overcome, voice thick. “I don’t know why-”

Pearl descended, holding Jasper’s face in her hands and placing countless kisses everywhere: her cheeks, her eyelids, her forehead, her jaw. She tried using her thumbs to wipe away tears, but they were so big she just ended up smearing them across Jasper’s face. She settled for kissing them as they came instead. 

Jasper rested a hand on Pearl’s back and made a funny noise. When Pearl leaned back to look, she realized Jasper was laughing, a smile stretched across her face. It was infectious, Pearl couldn’t help but giggle a bit too. 

“Are you okay? Those aren’t upset tears, are they?” she asked, cradling Jasper’s head in her arms and squeezing tight. 

“No, I don't feel bad.” She tried to scrub the tears away with the heel of her hand. “I actually can’t remember ever feeling that _good_.” 

Jasper flipped onto her side and buried her face into Pearl’s stomach, encompassing her in a heavy embrace. Her face was still damp against Pearl’s skin, but the swell of emotion seemed to have passed. A slow, steady inhale, and a content, sighing exhale. 

“Good,” Pearl said, giving Jasper another reassuring squeeze. 

A satisfying exhaustion settled over Pearl like thick, humid steam from a warm bath. As her consciousness ebbed away, she curled into Jasper’s arms and pet the soft hair under her hands.

“Good….”

\-----------------

Pearl couldn't say for sure how long they stayed that way. It could have only been 30 minutes, or it could have been 4 hours. The first thing she noticed was the cries of seagulls outside. How irritating. Seagulls should not be noisy so late at night. 

A comforting weight was draped across her waist and her face pressed against something soft. She opened her eyes to be met with orange. 

Pearl remembered where she was. They must have shuffled around as they slept, because she was now held snugly against Jasper’s breast, their legs entwined. 

_How nice…_

She was almost lulled back to sleep by the slow rise and fall of Jasper’s chest and the light snore just above, but she noticed something odd. 

The fairy lights were dim, yet everything looked bright. She twisted around in Jasper’s arms, trying to get a better view of the room. 

Sunlight. Bright, unfiltered sun shone through the windows above them, illuminating the circular room in a way Pearl had never seen before. She had never _been_ in the lighthouse during the day. 

She wasn’t _supposed_ to be in the lighthouse during the day.

She was supposed to be in the temple, making pancakes for Steven. Given how high the sun was in the sky, there was no chance he was still asleep. 

Panic struck and Pearl tried to pry herself from Jasper’s arms as quickly as she could, tapping her waist to try and wake her. 

“Jasper. Jasper! Wake up, you have to let me go, we fell asleep and it’s the middle of the day,” she whispered. 

There was only a wordless grumble and arms hugging her even tighter. 

Pearl grunted and wriggled against Jasper with even less success than before. She looked around for something to help with her predicament when she realized her hands were still settled at Jasper’s waist. With one determined motion, she gave Jasper’s ribs a harsh pinch. 

Jasper jerked back with a bark of laughter and released Pearl. She scrambled up to a sitting position and stared at Pearl wide-eyed, clutching her sides protectively. 

“Whadid you–?” she slurred, still groggy with sleep. 

Pearl stood and reformed her clothing in a burst of energy. “I’ll tell you later, but right now I _have_ to get back to the temple,” she said, brushing hair away from Jasper’s forehead to kiss her there. “I’ll see you later, okay?” 

She walked across the way, gave her own hair a few pats to smooth it out, reached up for the window to leave and– 

“Wait.”

Jasper looked at her, hesitant. Her face was tinted pink and she sat, her mouth slightly open, but for some reason unable to speak. 

“Uh. I mean, yeah. See you,” she mumbled. 

Pearl knew that wasn’t what she wanted to say, but she’d let it go for now. She smiled and hopped up to grab the window sill, pulling herself up and kneeling on the ledge of the gallery. Jasper gave her a sheepish grin and offered a small wave that Pearl returned with enthusiasm. She then hoisted herself onto the railing and leapt. 

All the warmth and comfort she felt from being tucked between Jasper’s arms left with the cool air that rushed past in her descent. As soon as Pearl hit the grass with a soft thud, knots of anxiety twisted in her stomach. She’d have to figure out what to say to everyone, how to explain her absence that morning. 

Perhaps she could say she’d gotten carried away on a morning walk along the beach and met some interesting aquatic species on the way. It felt like a weak excuse, but it wasn’t as though that _didn’t_ happen on occasion. 

She made her way around the lighthouse, following the wood walls of the house where countless flowers and plants climbed and sprouted. Pearl thrummed her fingers against her cheek, deep in thought. 

Maybe a stop at the Big Donut would help smooth things over. Steven was always happy to have some of those. 

“Hey, Pearl.”

What were the ones he liked again? Syrup something, with some kind of meat product…

“Hello, Peridot.”

Yes, Peridot did keep the garden quite well. 

Pearl froze. _Peridot._ A sinking feeling of dread settled and she looked toward the source of the voice. 

There Peridot sat, cross-legged among a patch of mint she was pruning, looking all too smug. She fiddled with a leaf between her fingers in a way that Pearl might have thought was meant to be suggestive, but she was much too stunned to pay it any mind. 

“I- uhh,” Pearl faltered. Her cheeks were hot, already giving her away. “Well, you see, I was just um-”

Peridot held her hand up to stop Pearl. “I already _know_. Did you honestly think I couldn’t hear you two rolling around up there and giggling all this time?”

Pearl held her burning cheeks, mortified. _Of course_ Peridot knew. All the times there was a loud laugh that had to be hushed, a thump when Pearl stumbled on her way through the window, when Jasper climbed up to the gallery and they spoke loud, unrestrained. How could she have been so foolish to think otherwise. 

“Peridot, I don’t know if Jasper is ready to-” 

“I know, I’m not going to tell anyone,” she sighed, tossing the leaf aside. “I don’t care about the specifics, but I can tell Jasper’s been a lot happier since you started coming over, so...” she paused, looking away awkwardly. “You should keep coming over.” 

Pearl balked. This was not the conversation she had expected after being caught. She jumped when Peridot pointed an accusatory finger at her, her own face donning a deep turquoise flush under her visor.

“But just come through the door like a normal gem! You don’t have to creep around like some kind of- some kind of creep!” 

“Thank you, Peridot. I will.” Pearl pressed a hand to her chest, her heart still racing. 

Peridot made some kind of irritable grumbles under her breath and ducked her head down to refocus on her plants, so Pearl took that as her cue to leave. 

She started down the hill towards the Big Donut, a spring in her step. 

_Maple bacon._

Pearl had never been so glad to be on her way to buy sugary meat sprinkled pastries in her life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper spends some time with herself, Garnet, and then Pearl. 
> 
> Warning: Jasper has a small panic attack this chapter (in a platonic setting). Proceed with caution if you're sensitive to that type of thing!

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

The words circled in Jasper’s head over and over and she gritted her teeth. Why hadn’t she just _said_ it? Pearl was gone and she was left at the top of her tower alone, the words suck on her tongue like peanut butter. She growled in frustration when her throat tightened and threw a wad of blankets against the wall. 

That had been happening a lot since she’d started talking to Pearl. Somehow she always managed to draw things out of Jasper, to dig up her feelings, loosen her lips, make her say things she would hardly admit to herself. So why this once, this _one time_ she wanted to tell her something more than anything, she couldn’t? 

Jasper sulked where she sat, arms crossed, angry at herself and still groggy with sleep. As time passed, her sleepiness and frustration ebbed and her mind wandered to her night spent with Pearl instead. Heat rose to her cheeks as she remembered all the things Pearl did, everything she saw and heard and touched. 

Jasper hardly touched herself in general, but she hadn’t been touched _there_ in at least five thousand years. Vague memories lingered of exploring herself when she was new and the aftermath of getting caught, but none of that had been anything like what Pearl did. She’d never even seen herself, not fully out. After a while she had almost wondered if she could evert at all, not that it mattered at the time.

The special muscles beneath her abdominals were a little sore since they’d never been used before. She touched her stomach where they ached and the image of Pearl’s hands over hers, resting on top of the bulge in Pearl’s stomach came to the front of her mind. 

Being inside Pearl was an experience unlike anything Jasper had ever felt before. Physically it was dizzying, like being squeezed and pulled in multiple directions at once. Latent instincts reared up in her to grab, hold, bite, rut, thrust, harder, _deeper_. 

But more than that Jasper remembered emotions even stronger than the physical instinct that had pulsed through her veins. Raw noises torn from her throat tried to say everything at once without any way to form coherent words. Feelings blended together and were completely distinct at the same time—possessiveness, surrender, power, vulnerability, love. 

_Why hadn’t she said it?_

She wondered if Pearl had felt the same way. She wondered if Pearl would feel that way if _she_ was inside Jasper. The thought sent an excited pang between Jasper’s legs and the back of her neck got hot. Could Pearl even evert? Well of course she could, every gem could, but would she want to? Would it feel good for her to be with Jasper like that?

Possibilities spun in Jasper’s head and her hand trailed lower. _Would it feel good for Pearl?_ She looked past her chest and stomach and imagined Pearl’s hips there instead of empty space. Hesitant fingers slid forward and tucked into the crux of her thighs. 

Pearl was so small and Jasper was so big, would it be enough? She spread herself open with two fingers and pressed one to her entrance, a little slick gathered there already. Squeezing something big into a smaller space was very different from something smaller fitting into a bigger space. What if Jasper was _too_ big? The tip of her finger just barely pressed in, mindful not to scratch herself with claws. She braced herself and slid in slow, as far as her finger could reach. 

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it wasn’t particularly exciting. Nothing like when Pearl’s fingers were in her. No sparks, no contracting muscles, no fire in her belly. She was hot inside though, even compared to her own warm fingers. Smooth and silky like Pearl was, too. That was nice. She curled her finger up and a surprised noise tumbled out at the little spike of pleasure. _Oh._ Her inner walls contracted around her finger when she rubbed that spot again. There it was. 

There was no doubt Jasper could take much more, but she noted with great satisfaction that she did involuntarily squeeze around what _was_ inside. She felt silly for ever doubting her body would react the same as any gem’s, but knowing the answer for certain made her feel better anyway.

Jasper rubbed her finger over the little rough spot once more, then again, the feeling a bit addictive. She leaned forward and rested her head on her other arm. A part of her remembered the shame from when she got in trouble for doing something similar so many years ago. Her lips parted in a shaky huff as she found a steady pace. 

It wasn’t back then, she wasn’t under Homeworld’s rule anymore. Jasper withdrew her finger and moved to her clitoris instead, a line of slick dragged up with it. She was on Earth and free, she was allowed to try new things. She rubbed in hasty circles and rocked her hips back and forth, imagining Pearl’s hands at her waist guiding her to meet gentle thrusts. Her fingers stuttered to a halt and she bit her arm to muffle a quiet moan as her orgasm washed over her. 

When it was over, Jasper laid down and stretched out as her body settled, her mind pleasantly empty. Of course it had been much better with Pearl the night before, but there were no angry agates bursting in to scream at her either. She decided she liked it and would continue to indulge as she pleased. 

Jasper sat back up and wiped her finger on the corner of a blanket with a sigh. Fantasies were one thing, but she didn’t know if Pearl would actually _want_ to evert with her. If she’d wanted to touch Jasper like she had last night, surely she would, right? _Of course she would,_ Jasper thought. She couldn’t help but doubt herself a little.

She shook her head, stood up, and reformed her uniform with a burst of light energy. It was the same uniform she’d always worn, but with no diamond at her chest. The blank space sometimes made her feel isolated, farther away from belonging than ever before, but it felt much worse to wear yellow or pink. She couldn’t wear a symbol of loyalty to authorities that shaped her life with lies stacked higher than Homeworld itself.

Jasper tromped down the spiral stairs to the main house and almost kneed Peridot square in the face when she made a final leap off the bottom stair. Peridot screeched and smacked Jasper’s leg, and Jasper hopped out of the way just in time for Peridot to fall in a heap on the floor. 

“Hey, watch it!”

“Uh- gotta go. Garnet wants me to do a thing with her and she gets weird when I show up late.” Jasper hurried to the door in a couple of strides. “Garden stuff later?”

“You better,” Peridot warned, pointing an accusatory finger. “The soil’s pH and salinity is unbalanced because _someone_ keeps-”

“-okay, will do, bye-”

“-hey! This is your fault, you-”

Jasper dashed out the door, ran to the edge of the cliff, and jumped over the fence to the beach below. She knew exactly why the dirt was wrong and she did not want to have to explain why sand and sea salt kept getting tracked into the garden. Another time.

A cloud of sand surged into the air upon impact and Jasper gave her head a good shake to make sure none was stuck in her hair. She walked a path along the farthest edge from the water and spared a reluctant glance towards the ocean. An uneasy chill settled in the pit of her stomach. 

It had been long enough. It shouldn’t bother her anymore. She clenched her jaw, forced her eyes forward, and turned her back to the sea to head up the stairs.

“–even realized what happened since it wasn’t anything like, well...” Pearl’s voice came through the screen door, hushed. 

“She might not have.” It was Garnet’s voice this time. “When I first did it wasn’t on purpose. You remember, we just crashed into each other and–” her voice faded again and Jasper couldn’t hear anything more than quiet mumbles. 

She decided to make her presence known and let her steps fall heavy as she approached and opened the screen door. 

“Okay, I’m here,” Jasper said as she ducked under the door frame and squeezed inside. 

There was a tense moment of silence as Garnet and Pearl stared and Jasper stared back. Garnet was impossible to read as ever, but Pearl looked at her with shining eyes and a brilliant turquoise blush. A pink pastry box sat on the counter, still sealed with a sticker, and no one else was in sight. 

“I- I have to go, you two have fun!” Pearl blurted out before she made a break for the temple door.

When she turned to flee, Jasper noticed massive bruises that covered the side of Pearl’s neck and traveled down her shirt collar. She felt her own face flush upon the realization that those were from _her_ teeth. There was no way Garnet hadn’t seen them. 

Pearl was gone and then it was just the two of them. Garnet kept her arms crossed and stared at Jasper, wordless. 

“Uh,” Jasper said. 

Because what else could she say? Garnet had a way of just knowing things as it was, but the evidence was right there in front of her, dark blue and green where ivory should be. It wasn’t as if Jasper was ashamed to be with Pearl, but she felt like she was constantly on thin ice with all of them already. Would they think she was manipulating Pearl? Pushing her into things? Being aggressive and rough with her? Even if she would never be pushy about those types of things, _they_ don’t know that. She knew what her reputation was like and those bruises did not help her case. 

Garnet approached. Jasper took a step back. Garnet paused, put a hand on her hip, and tilted her head. There was another stretch of silence that dragged on far too long. The hairs on the back of Jasper’s neck prickled as Garnet watched her through shades that revealed nothing but her own reflection. She hated that visor. 

“I thought we could do some meditation at the Sky Arena today,” Garnet finally said.

“Yeah, that, uh- sure. Sounds good.”

Garnet’s lips quirked up and Jasper couldn’t tell if it was a friendly smile or a condescending smirk. That damn visor. 

Their warp to the arena was quiet, but light and air wooshing past filled the silence and helped cool Jasper’s overheated face. She’d visited the arena once before, but it had been at night with Amethyst when she’d challenged her to a fight seemingly out of nowhere. Jasper had of course refused, and it had ended up in a pretty good talk between the two of them. She hoped whatever happened with Garnet this afternoon would turn out as well as that night had, but she wasn’t sure they could just scream at each other until things settled down like she could with Amethyst. 

When they arrived, Jasper looked up and her stomach twisted. Right in front of her was the old Diamond Authority symbol: White, Blue, Yellow, and of course, Pink. She hadn’t noticed it the first time she’d arrived in the dark and Amethyst had rushed her to the battle floor. She might have been happy to see it before she knew the truth, but now she just felt uncomfortable. 

They moved past the old insignia and down the steps of the arena. Jasper clenched her fists and dug her nails into her palms to try and force her nerves down. Fighting was the only thing she’d known before her new life on Earth began. It was straightforward and something she knew she was great at, but it was not something the Crystal Gems often did to bond. All the new things they wanted her to try were foreign and confusing and she never felt like she did any of it quite right. There was a lot of pressure with Garnet especially, who she knew was watching her every move, analyzing, deciding things about her after everything she did, right or wrong.

Garnet sat cross-legged in the middle of the arena floor and arranged her hands into a loose circle shape. Jasper had tried meditation with Garnet once before, but she’d gotten antsy and had left feeling irritated and unaccomplished. Still, she sat several feet in front of Garnet and mirrored her pose as best she could. 

Jasper couldn’t tell if Garnet had her eyes closed, was staring at her, or looking somewhere else entirely. Once again, she was only met with her own reflection, looking awkward and out of place. She shifted her gaze to the floor and stared at the broken bits of stone and dirt stuck in the tiles’ grout. 

“You’re uncomfortable,” Garnet stated. 

A flash of anger overpowered Jasper’s anxiety. She was trying, couldn’t Garnet see that?

“Yes,” she growled through her teeth. “How am I supposed to feel comfortable when I can’t even tell where you’re looking?” 

“Oh.” There was a small flicker of light on the floor in front of Jasper. “You could have told me. Usually three eyes makes people more uncomfortable than glasses.”

Jasper looked up to see Garnet looking back at her, no reflective shield over her eyes. Blue, red, purple. There was no malice in her eyes. She actually looked a bit apologetic. 

“Uh. Didn’t know. I just figured they weren’t an option,” Jasper said. 

Garnet nodded and her gaze wandered around the arena. Jasper let her eyes follow Garnet’s and she surveyed the space herself. Tall pillars with statues of old warriors stationed in front of them were at each of the corners not yet destroyed. Rows of benches stretched into the sky and surrounded what was left of the floor, worn from where gems once sat to watch other gems like Jasper fight. 

Fluffy, pale clouds leisurely floated by, unaffected by the fearsome battles of the past once fought there. It was odd, the stadium being so quiet and calm when she could picture exactly what it would’ve been like had she been one of the gladiators of this arena during its glory days. 

“Earth is funny like that,” Garnet said. 

Jasper started and looked back at Garnet. She still had her head turned towards the clouds. 

“What?” 

“Things made for war and fighting can become something beautiful and peaceful.”

Jasper narrowed her eyes. “But it still exists for the same reason. Just because it is how it is now doesn't change its real purpose.”

“Not necessarily,” she replied. “It's purpose can be whatever it’s being used for in the moment. Right now, this arena’s purpose is for meditation and relaxation. It's past doesn't define what it can be in the future.” 

Jasper frowned. She felt like she was supposed to be understanding something she wasn't. Why did Garnet always have to be so cryptic? 

“So are we gonna start with the thing or what?” Jasper asked, holding up her loosely folded hands. 

Garnet turned back to her and smiled. “Yes, we can start ‘the thing’. First, close your eyes.”

Jasper normally would have been hesitant to, but with the visor gone she saw Garnet close her own eyes first. Jasper nodded and followed suit. 

“Now breathe in, slow. Fill your lungs with air completely, hold it for a moment, then breathe out steady from your stomach until it's all gone.”

Jasper did not. She kept her lips sealed and heard Garnet follow her own instructions. She wouldn't know the difference anyway, what did it matter? 

She waited quietly for the next instruction, but it didn't come. 

“Jasper,” Garnet said sternly. 

“What? I'm focusing.”

“You're also not breathing like I asked you to.”

“How would you know?”

“Because you don't have a nose and I can hear you're not breathing through your mouth.” 

Jasper cracked an eye open to peek at her. Garnet still had her eyes closed. Jasper scowled and closed her own eyes again. 

“Fine, okay,” she grumbled. 

She let her jaw go slack, lips parted, and tried breathing in. An unexpected flutter of fear gripped her and her breath hitched. She huffed out quickly to try again, this time slower, steadier. Still, halfway through her breath, panic took hold and her lungs shuddered, her throat grew tight. She clamped her mouth shut and held the air in. 

Jasper was horrified. She couldn't even _breathe_ right. Garnet probably thought she was pathetic, embarrassing, laughable—

“You're doing good, Jasper, just relax,” Garnet said, voice low and soothing. 

Jasper bit the inside of her cheek and frowned harder. Doing good? What a joke. 

“Tell me what's going through your mind right now.” 

“I can't even breathe right,” she spat. 

“That's not true,” Garnet replied gently. 

Jasper laughed, high and strained. “Oh, really? So that sounded normal just now.”

“No, not just now. But you breathe fine around Pearl.” Jasper's eyes flew open and Garnet calmly continued. “Sometimes difficult things are easier to manage when we’re around someone we feel safe with.” 

Jasper didn't know what Garnet was trying to get at, but she’d had a feeling Pearl was going to come up no matter how much she wanted to avoid it. 

“Hey, I know it looked really bad, but I-”

Garnet held up a hand to stop her and finally all three eyes opened again. “Pearl is her own gem and can handle herself just fine, I'm not worried about that. We can talk as much or little as you want about those things. Today I just want to help you in the ways I know how.” 

Jasper paused. _Help?_ Since when did Garnet want to help her? And with what?

“I don’t understand. Aren’t you just taking your turn to keep an eye on me? Make sure I don’t go ballistic and re-corrupt or something?” 

Garnet’s eyes widened and her composed posture fell. “W- of course not, that’s never been the case. I haven’t been keeping track of you, I’ve just been trying to get to know you and help you readjust. I already know you’re not going to hurt anyone.” 

Jasper’s face felt warm again. She still didn’t always know how to respond to others expressing concern or affection for her. “Right, the future vision, of course you knew that,” she muttered.

“No, not because of future vision. Because I know that you’re a very different gem than you were seven months ago,” Garnet said, folding her arms. “I know how different Earth is from Homeworld and how challenging it is to learn new things. I can see you’re making an effort, but sometimes the way you see yourself gets in the way of you seeing how others really feel about you.” 

Jasper picked at the leg of her uniform and swallowed. She felt caught, exposed. 

“Yeah, and a visor that’s basically a mirror,” she retorted. As soon as the words left her mouth she realized the parallel between hating the visor and what Garnet just said. 

Garnet gave her a knowing smile and Jasper rolled her eyes. 

“Ugh, fine, I get it. But how is dragging me here to point out what's wrong with me ‘helping’?” Jasper crossed her own arms defensively. 

“Acknowledging that something is a struggle is the first part of learning how to handle it.” Garnet shifted back into her meditation pose. “We don't have to get into anything complicated right now, but breathing exercises are a good way to handle stress and upset feelings in general. I noticed you only breathe sometimes, so I wanted to show you how it can help when things are difficult.” 

Jasper thought for a moment. She felt like she was in good control of her emotions, but then she remembered her deep discomfort looking at the sea and an old diamond insignia. Maybe she should take Garnet’s advice. And she _was_ still trying to learn when to accept help. This was an obvious enough start, even if it might bruise her pride a bit. 

She moved back into their meditation position and took the initiative to close her eyes first. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Garnet confirmed. Jasper could hear a little smile in her voice. “Whenever you're ready, try to join my breathing. I’ll inhale four counts, hold four counts, and exhale eight. You don't have to match me exactly, just do what's comfortable.” 

Quiet settled again. Jasper listened to Garnet’s breathing and counted in her head. 4, 4, 8... 4, 4, 8... She let her jaw relax and her lips part. 4, 4, 8... This time. 

1, 2, 3— 

Her lungs froze up and her insides felt like ice. She exhaled in one quick gust and closed her mouth again, biting her lip hard. Why was this so hard for her? 

“That was good, you got one more count than before,” Garnet said. “Tell me what you felt on three.” 

“Cold. They just stop, I can't get anymore in,” she mumbled. 

“Cold,” Garnet repeated. She was quiet for another moment, then, “I’d like to try something if you're okay with me touching you.” 

“Uh,” Jasper frowned but kept her eyes closed. She definitely felt weird about it since they never touched except during spars, but more than that she was determined not to give up. “Okay.” 

She heard Garnet shuffle closer and her heart started to pound. What did Garnet want to do? What if it was awkward or made her feel worse? What if she liked it in a way she didn't want to? Jasper could sense she was close now, but still didn't feel anything yet. 

Then her hands were gently taken out of their circle shape and guided to her knees, facing up. Garnet placed each of her own hands over Jasper’s, distinct square and triangle facets pressing into her palms. They were surprisingly warm, much warmer than Jasper’s hands. 

“I’m going to start my breathing again. This time when you try to join in, if you start to feel cold, focus on the warmth I'm giving your hands from mine,” Garnet said. 

And so she started her breathing once more. Jasper counted in her head like last time too, but now there was an almost tingly heat seeping into her hands, down her fingers and up her wrists. It wasn't awkward like she’d feared and she did like it, but not in a scary way. She felt more relaxed as she listened and stayed still. 4, 4, 8... 4, 4, 8... 

By the fifth breath she felt ready to try again. 1, 2- a spike of fear, ice in her belly, her breath hitched. She remembered what Garnet said and tried to think about her hands. She let the warmth settle into her, drape over her like a blanket, come to the front of her senses and- stuttering 3, steady 4, hold four, exhale eight. 

Jasper felt giddy; she’d finally done it, she didn't know why it was so different but for some reason it worked. She wanted to get up and shout her victory to the empty arena, but Garnet’s hands pressed firm against hers kept her in place. 

“Very good, Jasper. Keep it going. Find your own pace,” she encouraged. 

So Jasper did. After a few cycles, she found her own rhythm that felt more like 7, 5, 10. Then Garnet eventually matched her breathing. Jasper felt herself start to float into an almost dream-like state. It was comfortable but strange; time and the physical world faded around her. 

A smooth and familiar voice called to her, but it wasn't Garnet. 

“Jasper… try to open your eyes,” it said. 

Jasper hesitated. She wasn't quite ready to go back yet—she’d just managed to get the breathing down. Another familiar voice came with the second, this one choppier. 

“Don't worry, we’re not stopping yet,” that one said. 

Jasper cracked her eyes open and looked straight ahead. The arena was dark like it looked at night, except the colors weren’t quite right for Earth’s night sky. Garnet wasn’t there anymore, but she still felt warm pressure on her hands. She looked down and saw Ruby and Sapphire sitting in front of her instead, but they also did not have their hands on Jasper’s. They seemed to be in a bizzare version of the arena where hazy pinks and greens swirled in the sky and wispy orange and yellow clouds floated past.

“Are we fused?” Jasper asked. She felt like she should be afraid, like she should be trying to get away, but for some reason she was completely calm. 

“No,” Sapphire said. “This is something Garnet is able to do through meditation practices with others. It’s a mental connection similar to what gems share during fusion, but without the physical aspect.” 

Sapphire had her hands folded in her lap and there were fluttering shapes of light resting on her dress. They almost looked like moths or butterflies. Ruby sat with her legs stuck out, leaned back on her arms, and one of the lights was in her hair. Jasper looked down at herself and noticed they were on her, too, mostly resting on her wrists and chest. Many more flitted around her face, in her hair, near her feet, never quite landing. 

She furrowed her brow and tried to shake them off. Some flapped away for a moment, then settled right back where they started. They made her uneasy. 

“What are these?” she asked. “Why are there so many stuck on me?”

“Well, its kinda like stuff that bugs you,” Ruby said. 

“Stress, anxiety, fears,” Sapphire supplied. “Things that can feel overwhelming and impossible to deal with.”

Jasper shook her head and shifted nervously. “Does that mean you can see what they are?”

“No, not unless you decide to show us,” Sapphire said. 

“Yeah, we wouldn’t spy on your thoughts,” Ruby chuckled. “That would be _so_ rude!”

Jasper looked at the ones on her wrists and chest. Under their shells of light, they churned in sickening shades of green. She knew what they were. She knew and she was afraid of what she might find if she looked further into them. 

A different one landed in the center of all three of them. When Jasper looked into it, she saw purple and a streak of orange. 

“Sorry,” she said suddenly. Ruby and Sapphire both tilted their heads in confusion. “Sorry for separating Garnet, I mean. When I first made it to Earth.” 

The more Jasper learned on Earth, the more she understood Garnet better—especially after getting wrapped up in such intense feelings for another gem herself. She would be devastated to be separated from Pearl now and they hadn’t even fused. She couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Ruby and Sapphire. 

They looked at each other, smiled, then looked back at Jasper. 

“Thank you. That means a lot,” Sapphire said.

The little butterfly between them lifted off and disappeared into the sky. Jasper was relieved to see it go. Unfortunately, she could not say the same about the ones that still laid heavy on her wrists. 

“I don’t know if I want to talk about these ones,” she said. 

“That’s okay,” Ruby said, resting her chin on a hand. “You don’t have to say everything about it, but do you think that’s what was making it hard to breathe?”

Jasper grimaced at the ones on her chest, the same ugly green as the ones on her wrists. “Yes.” 

“But being with Pearl kinda makes you forget about them?” 

“... Yeah.” Jasper swallowed.

Sapphire hummed thoughtfully. “Breathing can help ease stress and anxiety, but it _is_ a source of stress for you at the same time.”

“Once I got it it did help, though,” Jasper said. It was frustrating having something helpful feel out of reach for her. “I should be able to just do it, I _know_ I’m not gonna drown if I-” she stopped cold. She’d said too much. She stuttered a few times and butterflies began to swarm around her head in a frenzy. It was getting harder to see, everything was turning green and her head spun. “I- it’s not a big-” she was starting to panic, her breath coming shallow and quick, ice creeping up inside.

“Jasper- Jasper, hey-” 

“You’re okay, we’re-”

Their voices were overwhelmed by frantic wingbeats and a single drop of pitch-dark liquid fell on the top of her head amidst the blinding light that spiraled around her. It slid down her scalp, over her forehead, along the edge her gem, and fell. 

Her throat tightened and she made a choked noise before clenching her teeth together. She squeezed her eyes shut and went to lift her arms to cover her head, but something stopped her. 

She was not stuck or restrained, but a firm, gentle pressure urged her to keep her hands there. A smooth triangle in her left hand, a square in her right. They warmed her palms and Jasper tried to focus on them again. The rushing in her ears quieted.

“Easy...” It was Garnet’s voice again. 

Jasper unclenched her jaw and shakily released what air was left in her lungs, then closed her mouth again. 

“You’re in the arena with me, Garnet.” 

She didn’t want to open her eyes, even though Garnet said she was back. Her heart still raced and her hands felt clammy and gross. Panic subsided and was replaced with a prickling discomfort. She didn’t want to be touching anymore, but she didn’t want to move either.

“You know, don’t you?” Jasper asked, voice hoarse. She was glad when Garnet removed her hands and scooted back. 

“I suspected, even before that,” Garnet said. “I am a permanent fusion by my own choice, for my own reasons. For love. I can’t imagine… I didn’t even know it was possible to hold someone against their will. It’s a terrifying thought and I have no doubt it was much more terrifying to experience. That kind of trauma doesn't just go away.” 

Jasper balled her hands into fists and finally cracked her eyes open to look at Garnet. She was, indeed, back in the arena: sun shining, bright blue sky, fluffy white clouds. The sympathy in Garnet’s eyes made her feel sick. 

“I am not weak,” she gritted out. “I don't want your pity.” 

“I know you’re not weak and I don’t pity you,” Garnet said. “I admire your strength. I’m impressed by your efforts to trust again. I know it’s not easy. Only a truly strong gem can accept help from others and put herself forward in spite of her fears. I just want to support you with my companionship and the knowledge I have to offer.”

Jasper eyed Garnet cautiously, stewing on what she said. _Only a truly strong gem can accept help._ It sounded like a load of garbage, but at the same time so had a lot of things she first learned on Earth. 

“Doesn’t accepting help just prove that you’re weak? How can someone be strong if they’re revealing all their weaknesses?” she asked. 

“Because they have the bravery to admit when something isn’t working and needs to change. Accepting help means you’re learning something new and growing from it, which makes you even stronger than you were before.” 

“But what if-” Jasper paused. She felt like she was admitting weakness already, and she hated it. “... What if when you ask for help someone uses it against you? Then you’re the fool for putting yourself in that place.” 

“Trust is never foolish, it’s courageous. What someone else does with your trust doesn’t say anything about you, it only reflects on the gem who respects or betrays it.” 

It almost made sense the way Garnet put it, but Jasper still couldn’t truly believe it. Steven knew more about what happened to her than any of the other gems and he mostly understood, but she figured everyone else would consider it well deserved. A punishment for her mistakes, retribution for her wrongdoings, and completely justified for her being stupid enough to hold out her hand in the first place. She never even thought _Pearl_ would have thought different if it weren't for the passionate words that had rattled Jasper the previous night. _You deserved so much better._

Everything was confusing and frustrating and Jasper felt like once again, what she was being told now was the opposite of everything she’d been taught her whole life. She wanted it to be true, but at the same time every fiber of her being fought it. Acknowledging weakness on Homeworld meant showing the limit of your use. Admitting failure meant an agate’s whip splitting open your skin. On Homeworld, you do not learn and grow; you do it right the first time or you accept the punishment for your shortcomings. There’s no questions, the treatment you got was a direct consequence of your actions. The possibility that everything that had hurt might not have been justified had Jasper reeling. She didn’t like to think about what that meant.

“Why is everything so complicated with you Crystal Gems?” she grumbled. 

Garnet chuckled and rested her head in a hand. “We’ve had a lot of time to figure things out. Listen, we don’t have to continue from before, but there are two more things.”

Jasper was irritated again. She’d had enough for one day. “What?”

“First, keep practicing the breathing exercises, even if it’s once in a while by yourself or with Pearl. Second,” she paused and her expression went serious. “I _never_ spent time with you because I didn’t trust you. I know we haven’t had the smoothest relationship, so I’m sorry I didn’t make my intentions clear. I want to help and I want to be on good terms with you.”

Jasper raised her eyebrows. She hadn't expected an apology from anyone for anything ever, she didn't even think there was something for Garnet to apologize for in the first place. 

“It’s, uh. S’fine.”

“Thank you. And I'm glad about Pearl, too.”

“You are?” Jasper asked, surprised. “Why?”

“She was stuck on Rose for a _long_ time. It's good to see her excited about someone again, but not as an unhealthy obsession. She seems happy.” 

“Even though I- the-” Jasper touched her fingers to the side of her neck. 

Garnet laughed and braced a hand on her knee. “Oh, Jasper. That's just _Pearl_. You think after thousands of years I wouldn't know a thing or two about what she likes, too?”

Jasper’s face flushed. “You-? She also-?” 

“Not for a long, long time. It was never a relationship either, I'm not interested in romance. I just appreciate the gems I care for in multiple ways,” she said with a shrug. 

“Oh.” Jasper somehow felt immensely relieved. 

It's not that Pearl couldn't have relationships with other gems but… Jasper felt a strange selfishness she’d never felt before, and she relished in it. Sex was one thing, but Jasper didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone but Pearl, and deep, deep in her gut, she wanted Pearl to feel the same about her. 

“Do you think Pearl feels...” Jasper hesitated. 

“I think if you have any fears, you should talk to her about them. I'm sure she would want to know if you were worried,” Garnet said with a small smile. 

Then she pushed herself off the ground and swiped a hand over her face, reforming her visor. She walked a few paces closer and stretched her hand out in offering. 

Jasper stared at it for a moment, then accepted, and let Garnet pull her up. There was a brief moment where they stayed that way, hands still clutched together. She couldn't see Garnet’s eyes anymore, but she felt like she could tell what her smile meant now. Something bubbled up in her chest, perhaps accomplishment or camaraderie. It felt good. Jasper smiled back. 

Pearl was nowhere to be found after Jasper and Garnet returned, so after they exchanged a casual wave, Jasper made her way back up to the lighthouse. A neatly written note was left on the house door in Gem with a drawing of a triangle with an angry face. 

_Out with Amethyst. You got lucky this time, Jasper. Garden work tomorrow, no excuses!_

Jasper smirked at the note and went inside to Peridot’s desk to write a reply of her own. It was covered with papers full of graphs, charts, and other incomprehensible data only Peridot herself could decipher. She ripped a corner off the least complicated looking one and wrote, _“not the one making excuses”_ and scribbled a crude version of her own face sticking its tongue out. 

Once in her room, exhaustion hit Jasper like a wall and she slumped heavily, as if a bunch of strings holding her up were finally cut. Normally she would get everything ready for Pearl as soon as she was in her room, but talking with Garnet left her feeling sluggish and drained. She flicked the fairy lights on and collapsed back into her heap of blankets with a grunt. She’d just close her eyes for a moment, then get everything ready. She never napped for long... 

\-----------------

Everything was cold and dark. Jasper almost never felt cold, but this was a specific chill she remembered well. One from a place where the sun could never reach, where no matter how much heat she generated it was stolen from her skin instantly. It prickled at her fingertips and toes, pressed in from all sides, forced her head to bow low. She wanted to breathe, to get precious energy from the oxygen to try and warm herself with, but she knew better.

The moment she was about to shiver, thin, burning hot lines traced down her spine. They seared into her and branched across her back, but it didn’t hurt. It followed the vulnerable seams of her form and she couldn’t help it, her mouth opened in a gasp. Her lungs filled with a familiar, arid heat and she breathed easy, as easy as the first day she emerged into a windy, sun-baked desert. The scorching lines wrapped around her chest and followed the bend of her waist, and all the cold that had surrounded her was chased away.

“Pearl,” she said.

As soon as the word left her mouth, she realized it _was_ Pearl. White hot rays of sun became tender fingers and arms, wrapping her up in a gentle, warming embrace. The burning light moved inside Jasper and she felt it pulse in her heart, her gem, deep in her belly. 

Hands moved over the curve her hips, then down the crease of her thighs, and oh, how Jasper wanted them to keep going, but they stopped and rested there. She could almost cry, she wanted to be held and touched and taken care of so badly. No one had ever treated her the way Pearl did and she couldn’t bear to live without it now that she knew what she’d been missing. 

“Pearl,” she whispered again. 

“Jasper?”

Suddenly everything rushed forward and Pearl’s voice was more real than everything but the fire that burned hot in her. Jasper’s eyes snapped open and she found herself face-to-face with the exact gem she’d dreamt was already there. Pale blue eyes and tumbling peach hair hovered just above her, shadowed by dusk.

“I love you.” 

Jasper’s voice was gravelly and she would’ve normally felt flustered getting caught sleeping, but it didn’t really matter, not with Pearl there. She closed her arms around Pearl and drew her into a tight squeeze. Breathing came just as easy as it had in her dream, and Jasper buried her face into fluffy hair that smelled of flowers and the beach. There was no fear that froze her up, just one smooth motion in and out, as if she’d never known any different. 

Slender hands pushed against Jasper’s shoulders and she eased her grip to let Pearl up. Pearl swung a leg over Jasper’s waist, sat on her stomach, and cupped her face. 

“Oh, Jasper…” Pearl’s eyes sparkled and without another word she pressed her lips to Jasper’s. 

Her kiss was slow and soft, and her delicate hands barely moved at all, but Jasper found their pull was stronger than any amount of brute force. Pearl moved away only to tilt her head a new direction for another languid kiss. Slender fingers combed through the hair above Jasper’s ears and circled her head to pull her in deeper. 

Jasper felt a twinge of shame at her body’s intense visceral reaction to such little intimate touch. There was already an ache between her thighs and a tightness in her belly that made her heart pound and her lungs desperate for air. Pearl moved to her neck and it was so gentle it almost hurt. Jasper tried to take a slow and steady breath, but it still came shaky. 

In the back of her mind, she realized how different it was from the stuttering difficult breaths earlier in the day. The wavering in her chest felt good and natural. She felt excited and hot, even if a little embarrassed for breaking down so quickly at the attention. 

“You like me- how I am? Even- even like this?” she asked between heavy breaths. “Even weak?” 

“No,” Pearl said, pressing a firm kiss to Jasper’s overheated cheek. “I _love_ you how you are.”

She leaned up and stroked a thumb over Jasper’s eyebrow, her lips curved in a coy smile. “What are you thinking about in that pretty gem of yours?”

Without Pearl’s mouth at her throat, Jasper could calm her breathing a bit. She frowned and looked away with a huff. “I dunno, I mean when you kiss me like that…”

“When I kiss you like that, hm?” 

Jasper frowned harder, this time at Pearl, who looked absolutely tickled. She sat up and pressed her palms to the center of Jasper’s chest, right on top the V of her uniform. 

“Well, you don’t know this yet,” Pearl said as she ran her hands up and down the straps. “But after living so many years as a good, obedient little pearl, there’s something _very_ thrilling about having a big strong gem weak in my hands.” 

Jasper tried to keep herself steady, but her mind ran wild with the possibilities of what else Pearl could mean by that. The circles Pearl was rubbing into her breasts did not help her focus. 

Pearl paused and Jasper barely bit back a pitiful whine at the lack of stimulation. “Of course, as long as she _wants_ to be.” 

Pearl’s hands stayed still and she tilted her head to one side. Jasper was so wrapped up in it all she didn’t even realize it was meant to be a question at first. Once it finally registered she nodded her head vigorously and slid her hands over Pearl’s legs. 

_Weak in her hands._ Jasper had been so distressed when she felt weak with Garnet earlier, but with Pearl? Some depraved, hidden part of her brain clicked into place. The same thing had happened the night before, too. Deep, suppressed desires forced their way up and made her want to bare her throat and lie back defenseless, to open herself up and show Pearl every humiliating part of her. She wanted Pearl to have absolute control over her, to claim Jasper as her own. 

The Homeworld soldier in her screamed that it wasn’t right, that it was sick for a commanding quartz like herself to want to roll over and submit to a pearl. Yet the new part of her, the part that was learning about everything Homeworld had gotten so wrong, spurred her on. She knew Pearl was a trusted equal, an exceptional soldier, and an even better strategist. It felt rebellious and dangerous to take such pleasure in the power a pearl, a superior warrior, and the gem she loved had over her. It felt _good_.

“I wanna,” she growled. 

Pearl smirked and snapped the strap of her uniform. 

“That’s good to hear,” she said. “But there are some things that might be… well, a little intense to start. We can always go slow and work our way up to more complicated things.”

Jasper was slightly offended that Pearl thought she couldn’t handle everything right away, but Pearl _knew_ how strong she was. She knew Jasper would take on any challenge and do the absolute most she could until the very end. That only made her wonder what could possibly be _that_ intense? 

“Why don’t we try something simple to start? I’ll tell you where I want your hands, and you have to keep them there the whole time. How about that?” Pearl offered. 

It sounded easy, _way_ too easy. Jasper chuckled and raised an eyebrow. 

“Sure,” she said. “Where do you want them?” 

“Alright, here and here.” Pearl stood over Jasper’s waist and placed each of her hands face down on the floor a few inches away from her hips. “And remember, if you ever want me to stop or slow down just say so and I will.”

“Uh-huh.” 

All of Jasper’s previous fantasies flew out the window in favor of her innate competitiveness. She was going to beat this little game no problem. Pearl might think she’d be too tempted to do something and mess up, but Jasper was going to show her. 

Pearl smiled sweetly and pressed a foot on the top of Jasper’s hand. “Good girl…”

A little nervous jolt tugged at Jasper’s stomach. _Good girl?_ What was that? She didn’t know why, but she liked something about the way Pearl said it. 

Pearl’s demeanor shifted, but she still wore the same smile. She pressed her foot down harder and her voice grew husky. “Don’t you move these until I say.” 

Jasper nodded, her arrogant front starting to falter. Barely looking at Jasper at all, Pearl slowly started to undress. First she untied her sash and set it just above Jasper’s arm, then socks came off each foot and were tossed aside. Jasper bit her lip when Pearl stood to one side of her waist and peeled her shorts down, then tossed those aside. She stood over Jasper again, her shirt still on and bare the rest of the way down. 

Jasper waited for her to take that off as well, but Pearl just set her hands on her hips and smirked. Without the sash it was just long enough to cover her like a tiny dress. Jasper was frustrated she couldn’t get a better view and her instinct was to reach up and move it herself, but she knew better. She kept her hands planted and tried to look unaffected. 

“So far so good.” Pearl dragged her fingers up her shirt to lift it just an inch before letting it fall back down. “It’d be better if you weren’t clothed, though. And we both know try as I might, I just can’t pull it off you myself.”

Jasper took her cue and shifted her uniform off. Her face heated a bit, she still wasn’t used to any kind of nudity, but she was determined to find out where this game would go. She tried to focus on Pearl to push her own self-consciousness to the back of her head. 

Pearl blushed in kind and put a hand to her cheek. “Oh, that’s much better. You’re very pretty, do you know that?”

“Pretty?” Jasper asked. Even the deep, rough voice she spoke in said anything _but_ pretty. 

“Yes, pretty. I can almost feel the warm and dusty sandstone you were born from when I look at you. You’re like a perfectly carved piece of the Earth taken right from the canyonside, always bringing some of that beauty with you wherever you go…” Pearl seemed dazed for a moment, then shook her head with a laugh. “Oh, I’m getting carried away! You’re doing very well.” 

Jasper’s face felt much hotter than before. She couldn’t understand how Pearl saw her that way, but she also couldn’t say she didn’t like to hear it. 

“You, uh, still have your shirt on,” Jasper pointed out. 

“I know.” Pearl brushed her hands over the hem of her shirt as if to straighten it, then lowered herself back onto Jasper’s waist. 

As soon as she sat down, Jasper felt tempting warmth on her belly from between Pearl’s thighs. Keeping her hands in place was getting harder. Pearl worked her hands under the space beneath Jasper’s breasts and squeezed upward in a smooth motion. 

Jasper’s breath caught as she watched Pearl from over her own chest. She still couldn’t see any other part of Pearl that she really wanted, but oh, could she feel it. 

Pearl wiggled her hips ever so slightly, and it started to get slippery where she moved. She continued her massaging and tweaked Jasper’s nipples at the end of each stroke in gentle pinches and twirls. With a satisfied hum, Pearl pushed Jasper’s breasts together and took both in her mouth at the same time. 

A tiny gasp escaped and Jasper almost clamped a hand over her mouth, but Pearl gave her a half-lidded look and quirked an eyebrow. Jasper pressed her hands harder into the blankets and huffed. She already felt a sappy heat building between her own legs. This was harder than she thought. For a moment, she wished their positions were flipped when Pearl slid herself against Jasper again and more slick smeared between them. 

She quickly changed her mind with an expert flick of Pearl’s tongue. Pearl wove it back and forth and around in circles, then closed her mouth and sucked. Jasper arched her back and groaned, another pang going to her cunt when Pearl grazed her teeth over them. She eventually let Jasper go, a line of saliva stuck to her chin. 

“Look at you,” Pearl murmured. “Still being so good. Ready for the next part?”

“Are you guh- gonna fuck me?” The words spilled out and gave Jasper away before she could act it wasn’t what she’d had on her mind all day. 

Pearl’s eyes widened a fraction and she wiped the back of her hand over her chin. “Oh, you- you mean like… like how you did yesterday…?”

Jasper had come this far, she didn’t see the point in pretending anymore. She nodded, now a little nervous. 

Pearl wiggled her hips against Jasper’s abdomen with a sigh. “Oh, I’d love to, I really would, but I, well-“ she paused, looking sheepish. “It’s, um. It’s actually quite difficult to get me to evert, and I’d really like to focus on you right now. Is that alright?”

Jasper almost wanted to complain, but the fact that Pearl _did_ want to fuck her that way and also wanted to give her so much attention now made her content to wait on it a bit longer. 

“Okay,” Jasper said and grinned. “But I’ll get you to come out next time no matter how long it takes. Just wait.”

“I look forward to it.” Pearl’s smile was sultry and she rutted her hips pointedly. “For now though, let’s continue, shall we?” 

And with that, Pearl stood. Finally her shirt was rumpled around her hips enough that Jasper was able to see what had only been a tantalizing wetness on her stomach until then. Pearl was flushed and plump and glistening, and Jasper wanted nothing more than to touch and taste it all. She licked her lips and flicked her eyes back up to Pearl’s, waiting. 

A wicked grin spread across Pearl’s face and she took two careful steps forward to stand above Jasper’s head. 

“You want this?” she whispered. 

A shiver went down Jasper’s spine. She’d never seen Pearl like this—powerful, intimidating even. 

_“I want it.”_

Pearl knelt down and she was so close Jasper could feel the warmth of her thighs at her cheeks. She tried to lift her head to meet Pearl the rest of the way, but her hair was caught under Pearl’s knees. A growl rumbled low in her throat and she bared her fangs in a show of impatience. Jasper could easily rip her hair out from under Pearl, but she could tell this was part of the game. 

“You catch on quick, don’t you?” Pearl said softly. “Don’t worry, you’ll get yours soon, I promise.” 

She combed her fingers into Jasper’s hair at the top of her head and held her in place while she lowered herself. Jasper eagerly opened her mouth to Pearl and dragged her tongue between the sopping folds of her cunt as soon as it was within reach. It was just as good as she remembered—dripping wet, hot, swollen with arousal. She tilted her head as much as Pearl would allow for a better angle, the taste and smell overwhelming with every breath, every new shape she drew into Pearl’s clit. She was fragrant and sweet like wild roses, but also a little bit salty like the ocean breeze. 

Her shirt covered Jasper’s eyes so she couldn’t see Pearl’s face, but she could feel every shiver of her thighs and every minute jerk of her hips when she did something right. She heard all the gasps and shaky little moans and wanted even more. Cool fingers raked at Jasper’s scalp when she slid her tongue inside and gave Pearl’s entrance a gentle stretch. Jasper wished she could wrap her hands around Pearl, hold her by the waist and rub her thumbs over Pearl’s chest, pull slight hips down hard and grind them against her face. She dug her claws into the blankets instead. 

Pearl’s grip on Jasper’s hair loosened and she gave her a few soft pets. “Remember, hands flat…” she said between breaths as she untangled herself from Jasper’s hair. 

There was a shimmering noise Jasper recognized as Pearl materializing something from her gem and two distinct thumps beside her hip. Then suddenly the fabric covering Jasper’s eyes was gone. Pearl tossed her shirt aside and Jasper had the perfect view she’d wanted all along. 

She smiled around Pearl’s cunt and dipped her head forward, sending a deep hum of approval into her hips. _“Ohh,”_ Pearl crooned and braced her hands behind her against Jasper’s breasts. Her eyes were dreamy and a sea-green blush dusted across her cheeks and nose. _Stars she’s cute,_ Jasper thought. She kept her eyes locked on Pearl as she kept up a steady pace and alternated between dipping inside and circling her clit. 

Pearl’s voice got higher, more urgent and breathy. She moved her hips back and forth with Jasper’s rhythm and her nails dug into Jasper’s skin. A tremor shook through her core and Jasper could tell she was close, so she pushed in quick, curled up, and rubbed hard against the rough patch inside. 

All at once Pearl barreled over the edge full force. Her thighs squeezed around Jasper’s head, her back snapped into a deep arch, her voice shook in an unrestrained moan. Fluid rushed onto Jasper’s jaw and mouth, and she didn’t ease up until she felt Pearl pat her head and lift herself up. 

“Oh- oh…” Pearl sighed. “You are so good with that beautiful mouth of yours, so- _so_ good.” She crawled off Jasper with wobbly legs and kneeled to one side of her, pressing dozens of kisses onto her cheeks, forehead, lips, and even a few to her gem. 

Jasper couldn’t keep the grin off her face. Pleasing Pearl made her feel so much more accomplished and satisfied than any other kind of victory. Plus, she’d kept her hands in place the whole time, just like Pearl said to. She _knew_ she could do it. 

“‘M glad,” she murmured. 

As soon as Jasper lifted her hands just a fraction to try and hold her, Pearl smacked the one closest to her right back down. Jasper made a little bark at the sting and looked at Pearl in shock. 

“I didn’t tell you that you could move those, did I? Hands. Flat.” Her voice was commanding and powerful like before. “Don’t forget that these are _my_ rules. Be good.”

Jasper hadn’t forgotten the rules, but she had forgotten that Pearl wasn’t done after she came. She forgot Pearl said she’d wanted to focus on Jasper, that she _wanted_ to touch her. The authority in Pearl’s voice, the glint in her eyes, the smart of the slap on her hand all made the arousal that had settled into a smolder flare in Jasper’s belly again. 

Pearl picked up her sash and used the corner to clean off Jasper’s face. Her expression softened as she swept the fabric across Jasper’s chin, up her jaw, and over her lips. 

“I’m going to make such a mess of you,” she said with a smile. 

The heat between Jasper’s thighs ached and a nervous laugh bubbled up from the anticipation. “Ha, you didn’t enough already?” 

Pearl just kissed Jasper’s freshly cleaned face and rose to her feet. She picked up whatever she’d dropped by Jasper’s hip earlier and walked to the space between her legs, her hands hidden behind her back. 

“What do you have?” Jasper asked suspiciously. 

“You’ll see. Now I’d be _very_ happy if you would spread your legs wide for me. I know you can stretch them quite far, I’ve seen you do it.” 

Heat crept up the back of Jasper’s neck as she complied. She bent her knees and opened them as much as she suspected Pearl wanted. The humiliation of being so exposed blended into her lust and made a strange but exciting mix. It fed into her newfound desire to be powerless—she wanted to be pinned like a butterfly for Pearl, to give her full access and be used however Pearl pleased. It almost troubled Jasper how deep these cravings seemed to go and she couldn’t understand where they had possibly come from. All she knew was that she needed it bad and Pearl was going to give it to her.

Pearl raised an eyebrow and pressed a foot to Jasper’s thigh, forcing it down further. “I know you can do better than that. Show me how flexible you are.”

Jasper shuddered and leaned up on her elbows, braced her feet on the floor, and stretched her thighs as far as she could. An obscene wet noise came with the wide split of her legs as she opened herself to Pearl’s scrutiny, her lower back bending slightly from the angle. 

“How-how would you know?” she asked. 

The foot left her thigh and Pearl leaned over Jasper to inspect her. She bent low to trace a finger along the strained muscle of Jasper’s thigh and seemed satisfied.

“Well it’s not like I don’t pay attention when you stretch after you’ve been running around,” Pearl said as she knelt down and set her mystery objects just out of view behind Jasper’s leg. “You don’t _have_ to, but you always take such good care to stretch after you exert yourself. I like it very much.”

Jasper didn’t think her face could burn any worse. Part of her desperately wanted to cover her face with her hands, but the other part loved that Pearl could see how affected she was by it all. Just how long had Pearl been watching her? Jasper tried to recall the times she’d exercised and stretched around Pearl without any second thought to how she’d looked. She never suspected anyone was actually paying attention, she honestly just enjoyed the feeling of exercise… 

“I always like looking at you. When you stretch or laugh or fight,” Pearl continued. 

Her hands ran up the backs of Jasper’s thighs and pushed them further, testing their limits, then slid back down tense muscle to the crease of her legs and plush outer lips. Jasper let out a shaky groan and tried to push her hips forward into Pearl’s hands. Three fingers dipped into the split of her sex and were gone just as fast as they’d come. She growled this time deep in her chest, impatient, frustrated. 

“But I _especially_ like looking at you like this.” Pearl finished, bringing her hand close to her face. She rubbed her fingers together and separated them slowly, heavy strands of slick presented for Jasper to see. 

“Fuck, Pearl I-” whatever Jasper had planned to say skidded to a halt when Pearl slid wet fingers into her own mouth. She dragged them in and out, then licked and sucked at them in a more lewd display than Jasper would have ever dared to imagine. When Pearl was apparently done, she removed her fingers and pressed them to her lips with a thoughtful hum. 

“Wouldn’t it be nice if I did that to your clit instead?” 

Jasper made a choked sound and stared at her, stunned. Since when had Pearl _been_ like this? Jasper felt like she was meeting a whole new Pearl, and she loved her just as much as the caring, gentle one she already knew. Once Jasper got her wits back, she nodded in agreement. 

“Let’s straighten your legs a bit, then.” Pearl tugged Jasper’s ankles to either side of her and positioned her feet just so. “Perfect. Now remember, hands flat.” 

And with that, Pearl bowed between Jasper’s legs. Jasper had done the same thing to plenty of gems in the past, but never in her life had it been done for her. She had an odd moment of dissonance seeing Pearl’s face there, as if it couldn’t be real and she must be in a dream, like their positions should be swapped. An awkward noise escaped her and she had the urge to cover her mouth again, but she knew the rules. Her hands scrabbled at the blankets under her and her breath hitched. 

Pearl’s eyes flicked up to her and she looked concerned. Her arm snuck under Jasper’s leg and reached up to tangle their fingers together. 

“This okay?” she asked. 

“G-guh-” Jasper stuttered at first, her voice failing her. Pearl’s face was sweet and reassuring and swept Jasper up all over again. “Good- _good_ , stars Pearl, please- please don’t stop-”

Pearl smiled and squeezed her fingers between Jasper’s. “Good,” she said and kissed Jasper’s mound. “You are doing so, so good, Jasper. All warm and wet for me, and so pretty, too.” Pearl peppered kisses lower and Jasper took a sharp breath when she placed a light peck on the hood of her clit. She let go of Jasper’s hand and circled both of her arms under Jasper’s legs, like she was about to scoop her up. Pearl probably couldn’t lift her if she tried, but Jasper _felt_ like she was being held. 

_“Oh,”_ she breathed. Jasper liked being on this side very much. 

Then Pearl nudged her tongue between Jasper’s folds, dipped inside, and slid up velvety labia to her clit. Jasper let herself fall back to the floor and gasped, dug her claws into the blankets, and strained her legs open as slippery heat pressed against her in all the right ways again and again. Pearl’s head bobbed as she rubbed with the flat of her tongue, up, down, inside again for a moment, then up again with more pressure. Everything was wet and messy and hot, and it felt like Pearl was somehow everywhere at once. 

Then there was suction, and _oh_ , Jasper had no idea that’s what it _felt_ like. Her eyes rolled back and she distantly realized the loud noises she heard were coming from her, but it didn’t even matter because she was already tipping over the edge. She didn’t want it to end so soon, but her body pulled taut and her cunt spasmed as she came, hard and intense and—and then it was over. 

The heat of Pearl’s mouth left and Jasper whimpered and puffed out shallow breaths like she might cry. She didn’t want it to be over, she wanted to keep going and she wanted Pearl to keep touching her, she just wasn’t _done_. 

Pearl rubbed Jasper’s lower stomach and inner thighs as Jasper tried to calm down. She didn’t know if it was supposed to be soothing, but it only served to rile her up more. Clever hands pressed and squeezed and pawed at her all over, except where Jasper really wanted them.

“Did you like that? Was it good?” Pearl asked. Her voice was low and hungry and made Jasper’s stomach leap. Maybe she wasn’t done after all. 

Jasper couldn’t quite manage words yet, so she settled for a rough, “Uh-huh.” She sighed and squirmed under Pearl’s touch, jut her hips forward and gazed at Pearl with pleading eyes to make it clear she wanted more. 

“What if I told you I could make you feel even better than that?” Pearl moved her hands away from Jasper’s legs to the floor. 

Before Jasper could even ask, a small cylindrical object was revealed from between her legs. Pearl held it with two fingers and turned it so she could see—it was a pale yellow-green color and smooth all the way around with one sloped end. She tilted her head in confusion, unsure how such a tiny thing could help. It seemed too small to put inside her, it was much smaller than Pearl’s hands for sure. 

Pearl swirled the object between wet folds and slid the tip in and out a few times, coating it with slick. It wasn’t enough to satisfy Jasper at all, it just teased and made her realize how badly she ached for _something_ to press inside, deep and hard. Pearl moved it up to her clitoris and started with slow circles. It felt nice, but the material was slippery and didn’t offer friction like fingers or pressure like Pearl’s mouth. 

“Pearl,” she groaned. “I don’t think it’s working, maybe you should-”

One subtle click and Jasper was cut off with a yelp. Everything between her thighs was buzzing and she couldn’t catch her breath. Her body jerked and twitched and writhed and all she could manage were little strangled squeaks. Pearl said something but she couldn’t make sense of it, she couldn’t think at all. The deep vibrations moved in the same slow circles and sent her higher and higher, her belly coiled so tight it almost hurt. In the back of her mind Jasper knew she was supposed to keep her hands flat, but she couldn’t control it anymore. 

“Puh-Pearl- I can’t-” she choked out. She clawed at her face, pulled at her hair, raked welts over her thighs and hips.

“Oh, Jasper, you’re doing perfect.” This time she could hear Pearl’s voice over it all, smooth and low. _“Good girl.”_

Jasper barely even processed it was happening when she hit her climax full force. Her back arched deep and tears welled in her eyes as tremors wracked her body. Every time she thought she might slow down the feeling just kept going, ripping one orgasm after the next out of her. Liquid gushed from her in powerful waves and she was slick and hot and swollen everywhere. Her cunt clenched tight again and all she could do was scream, _“In!”_

Something blunt and smooth pressed against her slit and sank in with almost no resistance. It got thicker the deeper it went and gave her an unbearably good stretch. By the time it finally went as far as Jasper could take, something changed again and it pumped in and out with quick, firm strokes. 

Her breaths became whiny desperate huffs as she bounced and ground her hips to meet each one. She realized at some point the overwhelming buzz had been replaced with cool, gliding fingers. They rubbed at either side of her clit, delicate and careful to not overstimulate. Jasper’s brain slowly started to work again with the buzz gone and she lifted her head. 

Pearl was panting lightly and had an attractive sheen of sweat on her skin. One arm thrust forward and back with determined force while her other hand worked up above in even circles. She was focused on her hands at first, but then she looked up and met Jasper’s eyes and everything crashed over Jasper again. 

Soft blue eyes, full of lust and passion. All of Jasper’s feelings surged forth and sent her over the edge one last time with a hoarse, shaky cry. She squeezed so tight inside that the thick length buried in her couldn’t move anymore, but it felt so good to finally have something there that it didn’t _need_ to move. There was a few more rushes of liquid and weaker contractions, and her body finally, graciously started to wind down. Aftershocks from it all made her legs and lower back seize a few times before they calmed to smaller trembles as well. 

Pearl rubbed her belly again from one hip to the other, this time genuinely soothing. All of Jasper’s muscles felt weak and heavy, and reality started to come back into focus. She was sweaty and dried streaks of tears went to her hairline, but the worst of it was the stickiness and weight between her legs. 

“I’m going to ease this out now, okay?” Pearl said softly. 

Jasper flinched when Pearl started to move it. It tugged at her rim as it left and didn’t slide as easily as it had before, but a few sparks of pleasure lingered as it dragged out. It seemed like it took forever for Pearl to pull all the way out, but once she did Jasper melted in relief. 

She wanted to tell Pearl she felt gross, to get up and somehow clean herself off, but her limbs felt boneless and her voice only came out in little whimpers. The noise of Pearl taking something else from her gem caught her attention, but she couldn’t make herself open her eyes to look. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you my little pumpkin pie.” A deep, gravelly laugh rumbled in Jasper’s chest. She didn’t know what a “pie” was but she knew what a pumpkin was and she _definitely_ wasn’t little. 

Something soft and wet ran over her inner thighs, then across her stomach, and then where slick had dripped onto her ass. “You did so good, I’m so impressed,” Pearl continued. The soft cloth was lifted, and then a new one carefully ran over her outer lips. Jasper winced when fingers spread her open and Pearl moved it up her tender inner labia. “I know, I know,” she whispered. 

Jasper belatedly realized that her skin felt infinitely less tacky and disgusting, and that it was _Pearl_ who was cleaning her up. Despite everything, she felt a bit self-conscious about it. “‘M gross,” she grumbled. 

Pearl chuckled and just kept running these cloths over Jasper. She wondered how Pearl managed to keep them warm and wet all this time. 

“I told you I was going to make a mess of you, didn’t I? It’s only fair I help pull you back together.” 

Pearl took her time and made sure every last bit of slick and release was wiped off before she moved away. There was a pause, some shuffling, and then slender arms wrapped around Jasper’s calves one at a time and moved them forward to be flat on the floor. 

“That was-” Jasper started, words failing her again. “I dunno if I can- to you? I dunno how you-?” Pearl tucked into the crook of her arm just the way Jasper loved and soft hair tickled her breast where Pearl laid her head. 

“I don’t want anything in return for that.” Pearl drew little loops on Jasper’s skin with her finger and sighed happily. “I just really enjoy doing that to a gem. It makes _me_ feel good.” 

“But my hands,” Jasper said. Pearl laughed again in the particular, abrupt, honest way that made Jasper’s heart skip a beat. 

“Oh, I didn’t expect you to be able to do it the whole time right away. It’s your first time with something like that and I had some very sneaky tricks. You actually did much better than I thought, I shouldn’t have underestimated you.”

Pride swelled in Jasper’s chest at Pearl’s words. She had been saying so many nice things to her tonight. Jasper didn’t know how to respond, but it made her feel bubbly and giddy inside. 

“What were those things anyway?” she asked. 

“Well, they’re actually- it’s something I sort of got from humans,” Pearl said. Jasper raised an eyebrow and glanced down at her, but she was suddenly very focused on one of Jasper’s stripes. “Humans are actually very creative with inventing toys to amplify sex and pleasure themselves with, and you see, _really_ it was Amethyst who introduced me to it all, but I, well I got carried away and started making my own.” 

“You _made_ those?” Jasper asked incredulously. 

“Yes- well mostly. I tinkered with an existing motor from a human vibrator and made the frequency more specific to us gems, but I cast the silicone shape.”

“Silicone?” Jasper was learning so many interesting new things today. 

“It’s a sort of- oh, here let me just-“ Pearl got up off Jasper’s chest and leaned backward to pick up one of the items. When she returned, she was holding a long object with rounded sides that curved on one end. “This is what I used for penetration, it’s made entirely of silicone. There are other materials humans use as well, even though some are toxic for their organic bodies which I really can’t understand, but I prefer the feel of this.” 

Jasper reached up and slid a finger along the material. It was very soft. She could see why Pearl liked it. The shape and size was what really intrigued her, though. It was astonishingly big, thicker and longer than Pearl’s forearm, and had a more narrow, slightly curved tip and a very thick base. The color of it was, to Jasper’s surprise, a pastel orange. 

“Did you make this for yourself?” 

Pearl spluttered and a color rushed to her cheeks. “I- well, I- only _recently_ , it just- I wasn’t going to pressure you of course, I would _never_ , so it was just to calm my, um, well you know-“ she hurriedly put it behind them and flopped back on top of Jasper. 

Jasper laughed and curled an arm around Pearl, hugging her close. “I like it. You can have the real thing whenever you want, but I wouldn’t mind seeing you use it on yourself some time either.” 

Pearl snorted and lightly smacked Jasper’s stomach. “You’re silly. I would have used something different for you, but that’s the biggest one I’ve made so far and I really wanted to you to have a satisfying first experience with toys. But now that I know you’re interested in sex I can make new ones for you, too.” 

“And you just keep them in your gem?”

Pearl leaned back in Jasper’s arms with a coy smile. “I am _always_ prepared for anything,” she and tilted her head up to catch Jasper’s lips in a kiss. 

Jasper grinned and squeezed her tight, earning a little squeak from Pearl. 

Everything was so easy, so comfortable and _right_ with Pearl. In moments like these, Jasper was glad everything happened the way it did if it led her here. She breathed in, the air filled with the scent of Pearl and freshly washed blankets, and then out, calm and steady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOORAY chapter 2!! Wowie! I thought this one was going to be much shorter than the last, but here we are lol. I hope you enjoy this one just as much as the last! 
> 
> A big thank you to my beta for this chapter, healmycorruption ♡

**Author's Note:**

> YAY my second fic! I was originally planning for this to be a oneshot but I got extremely carried away and now I want to keep writing more so haha. Look forward to it! 
> 
> You can see the illustrations on my tumblr at http://jasker.tumblr.com/post/180062917641 (SFW) and https://jaxxxker.tumblr.com/post/180098082157 (NSFW). And of course a HUGE thanks to my betas, MamaButts, healmycorruption, and anditwasjustathought! ♡


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